A day before I go to the mountain, I had so many reservations that I wouldn’t be happy to be there, that I’ve been there and done that and that it will just be another disappointment. But what I thought is basically what each day promises; we will never know what’s going to happen.
So I packed my bag. Inside my bag are three Ts, a jacket, shorts, soap and toothbrush, camera and my tomato juice. I went to sleep afterwards to wake up early for the trip. Though I’m not excited and I fear what’s going to happen the following day, I woke up after a two-hour sleep and my mind was immediately filled with thoughts of my plan – everything that would revolve around mind games. It was a longer time of thinking than sleeping. I stood up, ate my breakfast and took a bath.
Later on, I received an sms that my friends are on their way to the meeting place. I remembered to bring my CD player, then my pen and paper. When I am about to leave, my cap. I won’t be bringing any hair treatment cream for my fading crowning glory(?)
I went away, not knowing that I have to wait, then wait and wait again later. Anyhow, we proceed to the next meeting place and waited again but this time we’re taking our breakfast, my second breakfast. After sometime, the waiting is over and we’re on our way to another meeting place where a car is waiting to bring us to the mountain.
We’re on and there we had a lot of stories, stories and stories. I’m starting to get frustrated. I guess I am not going to see what I wanted to see. But I keep composed. I laughed at jokes and shared little tell tales. Slowly and then, the next thing I knew I had a long deep breath –yes! I will be happy for now and maybe later.
It was a rollercoaster ride with a putrid smell. We laughed, stopped breathing, exhaled and inhaled a few. Anyway, it will be a beautiful place up there. Up there we unloaded everything from the car and started walking and walking with loads on a muddy hill. Will I walk faster? No, no, no, no, no. With a woofer and component, it’s not a thrill.
We reached the place with a refreshing sight. We continued talking as if we’re just waiting for something to be served. Since I love cooking, I helped. I learned to peel grilled eggplants in water. I grilled marinated fish. Then we prepared the table for a boodle feast. We just rolled the banana leaves after and took a few-minute rest. It was a boring afternoon so we started walking again. And there is the stream, the falls and the picture-taking. Under the hot, hot sun, we kept on wading, hiking and we had the swimming. It’s a sort of triumph when you reach the falls not minding how deep is the stream you are crossing. We tried but it’s so deep that two persons holding on to the feet of the other still couldn’t measure. But at least we tried.
We went back to the house with an exciting story of how amazing the stream, the falls and the journey was. It’s getting dark. We fixed the magic-sing microphone to the component. After a few try, we started singing. We just continued singing until it’s time to eat. I ate a lot because I’m too tired and hungry and I just felt like I sing better when my stomach is full. Suddenly we heard somebody calling. There was light from that direction. Nothing frightening actually, it was just that some had to leave because a car arrived. We helped them pass through bricks and bridges. Again not minding how it looks like in the morning. At the end is a basketball court. We waved goodbye to some and the rest of us went back.
I sighed and this time, I felt the mountain capturing the moments.
Stories. Problems. Crying. I chose singing, dancing and drinking. Somehow, I was affected by the story that it looked like I’m having a problem too. I must admit, I have a problem but it’s not beyond my control. But the drinking and the lots of drinking broke me.
Later that night, while I’m singing I felt the mountain listened and came closer to see me. But then went out, maybe to contemplate or maybe to discern the true meaning of the song we mutually love to listen to and sing-along with. However, that time, a beautiful song is not enticingly interpreted by a drunken romantic fool in me. I kept singing and kept glancing as the mountain looks nowhere not to see me. Maybe pensive for seeing me that way or else I wouldn’t know anymore. But I’m overflowing with emotion that only me and now the mountain understands.
I drastically lost my self-control but my beautiful mind sticks with my plan – the mind game that I’m trying to layout. How bad I was if they only knew. How good I am to pretend I’m into something overdue.
As the darkness uncovers the real me, all I have is restlessness but still my beautiful mind keeps working. “Follow the plan,” my mind says. My eyes are closed but my ears tried to keep listening, my sense of touch tried to watch what my eyes could no longer see.
I felt they danced. I heard they shouted. They embraced. They kissed. They said I’d be upset… I was surprised, I pulled back. What then would the mountain be thinking of me? I can’t see the mountain, I can’t hear. I felt I’m not living.
The night calms. The noise is over. I got up. I heard someone remind me of something. I did follow, got back and pulled my sleep-over jacket. Then it was a silent, short sleep.
I woke up with a call to report back to office. I’m too tired but I still have to get up and fix myself to leave. And the pain I’m feeling made me wonder, what have I done to myself? Is this goodbye? Is this the last time? Will this be over? How would I go?
We waited but there’s no transportation to bring us back to the office. Not even our willingness, not even our money will take us there. But our feet took us back to the stream.
We went on swimming in the stream with its coldest temperature and stillness. I did swim back and forth and forth and stopped forth. The mountain again watched me there, smile and agreed. I’m feeling okay now. I’m feeling better that the mountain understood why some things last night had to happen.
Thereafter, the mountain waited for me, raised me up and looked at me. Then sang with me, listened to me, glanced at me,… all I thought it was me. But I’m still okay, just okay.
We went back to our places with my friends laughing, playing games and singing songs that from now on, I’ll be ready to take good chance again….
I took my one last look at the mountain but I never turned my back. I never looked again. My mind said goodbye and I never wanted to smile again.
The car moved on. We stopped. Went on, on and on. I watched the cars go by while reminiscing the one fine day I had with the mountain. I watched the cars overtake and to my surprise, there I saw the mountain, still looking and deeply falling in love with me. I know. I’m sure. I’ve never been more sure all my life.
A day after we went to the mountain, I missed the mountain. I wished to go back there. I’ll reach the mountain. But we’ll never be. And then again, I’ll always love the mountain. Here. See you when I see you my mountain. Until then, goodbye.
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