#FoolAgain

When you're fooling yourself... 😂
Use the shortcut of UP Ikot. 🤣 — at UP Promenade.

#UsapangChinese

#UsapangChinese

Admin: Wala kami magagawa kasi... Blah, blah

Me: At the very least, eto magagawa nyo... Blah, blah 🤨
~Pagdating sa clubhouse~

Janey: Sino sila? Ba't ang dami nila?

Me: Pa-picture nga tayo kasama ang ating mga kababayan.

Dapat mabilis mag change ng mood pag business na ang pag-uusapan.

#DealOrNoDeal

 —  at Sorrento Oasis Condominium Pasig.

#UsapangStepMom

#UsapangStepMom

Me: Mamames ano meaning nito? (Mahabang quote abt maybes & may be)

Mms: O say. Sweeeeeet!

Me: Talaga? Di ko pa rin maintindihan.

Mms: Ang hirap noh? Kinda bewilderin'

Me: Kaya nga eh

Mms: Nakakakilig na nakaka-frustrate

Me: Wag na nga natin isipin, go with the flow na lang.

Mms: Oo, enjoy na lang.

Me: Yung kwento mo about sa iba dyan, walang palaisipan, go lang

Mms: Oo, if I decide to go for it, go agad. Wala ng pag dadaanan na proseso. Kay (name), juicekolord. Puzzle ang lahat.

Me: Ayaw o gusto lang sana ang usapan. But will it be worth to solve the puzzle?

Mms: Oo, parang pangarap na mahirap mong maabot.... Tapos nako mag work, Punta nako Baclaran (church)

Me: Ako mag start pa lang mag work. Ingat. Pray for guidance in choosing the right one.

Me: Kuya (Waiter), magkano babayaran ko?

Waiter: Eto po Sir.

Me: Huwhaaat?

Lesson: Yan ang napapala pag di kinilatis. 😂😂😂

 — at Chuan Kee.

#JustASmileAway

After hearing some testimonies, I realized I've been very blessed these past days too.
Just today, I met a new friend that after the endless usapan, bibili sya ng insurance at jo-join pa sa team ko. Then another friend messaged me about getting similar product.
These, besides a few I'm meeting on Friday.
I think nadadala sa prayers at sa tawa/smile at sa aking mahabang kwento.

The greatest salesman I believe is a happy person.

Kahit nga si Father kanina, may kwentong patawa plus the Take & Receive song is my fave. There's just a lot putting smile on my face now. My wish, hmmm, it's slowly getting there. I can wait. 😊

#JustASmileAway

 — at Most Holy Redeemer Parish-Masambong.

#Ravan

~let the pain remain forever,...for every throb it brings is one more moment spent with you. ~

Buti na lang may mga bumili ng binebenta ko, 5 insurance products at 5 supplements. Pwede na di ba? 😐

Pera pera na lang. Perahin na lang. Pagkakitaan natin ang mga feelings na yan. Bukas pag gising, tuloy na uli ang #Ravan
#MicDrop — at MicDrop RestoBar.

#UsapangMamames

#UsapangMamames

Me: I think it's a trap

Mms: Go lang Vic. Grab it.
(took a grab car 🤣; went home after)

Me: (wrote a long story)

Mms: T'was sweet story then. Night market muna kami sa Divi.

Me in bubble thought in Popoy mode: "'Tang in* naman Bash. Ganyan ka ba katigas? Parang awa mo na sumagot ka naman."

Me in another bubble thought: Yellow pala ang color of the day.

Me in reality: Lakas ng ⛈️ kaya lumamig.

PS. Mms is Mamames. Bash at Popoy ay sa One More Chance 😂😂😂

 — at Hardin Ng Bougainvillea Aguinaldo St., UP Diliman Quezon City.

#UsapangBabi

#UsapangBabi

Babi: Sana di na lang sya nagpagalaw. 😐

Me: Parang bastos yang sinasabi mo?

Babi. Hindi ah

Me: So hindi na lang ako magpapagalaw?

Babi: Wag na. Ako nga pag naha-highblood umiinom lang ako ng biogesic.

Me: Bakit biogesic?

Babi: Kasi pag naha-highblood ako sumasakit ulo ko. Gamot sa sakit ng ulo ang biogesic di ba?

Me: Single na nga lang for life. ✌️

#UsapangBabi

#UsapangBabi


Seryoso ito. After 8 years namin magkita.


Babi: Ano na work mo ngayon?

Me: Project management

Babi: Ano yun?

Me: Iba-iba

Babi: Ano yun, kung ano pinapatira sayo, tinitira mo?

Me: Oo

Babi: Pano pag ayaw mo?

Me: Depende, pwede naman na ako na lang magpatira

Babi: Sino boss mo?

Me: Foreigner

Babi: Pano sa English, Ilan ipapatira mo sakin ngayon?

Me: How many am I going to fcuk today?

Mga tao: 🤔

🤔🤔

#UsapangBes

#UsapangBes

Bes: (anything that occupies space and has mass 😂)

Me: Thy will be done, di ba nga?

Kaya madali kaming mag-usap kasi when all is said and done, and you've done all that you could, ah si Lord na bahala. His will, not ours.

Kaya chill, smile and mango 😂😂 :-D
😂😂😂😂

#UsapangRedCarpet

#UsapangRedCarpet

R: May sample data ka ba dyan na pwede ko sagutan. Maglagay ka na din sample questions. May exam ako sa excel.

Me: Ipadala ko sayo bukas.

R: Tapos mga questions ha na pwede ko sagutan tapos I-check mo kung tama.

Me: Naipadala ko na data tsaka questions.

R: Tatlo lang? Mga 5 questions sana.

Me: Question#4 Based sa data, may jowa na ba ako ngayon. Question#5 Kung yes, masaya ba ako? Hanapin ang sagot sa data.

R: hahaha Adik ka talaga. 😂😅

#UsapangRedCarpet

#UsapangRedCarpet
R: Hindi ba mas maganda na nagmamatigas na enjoy ka? Like party with friends all day. Ganern ang life.
Me: Makapag-pose nga ulit sa pool mamya. #PartyWithNeighbors
R: Swimming pool? Try mo naman outside. Hang out and chill. Hindi puro tubig.
Me: 🏊 😂🤣😂

#UsapangRedCarpet

#UsapangRedCarpet

R: Ipa-rent mo na lang yan (bahay)
Me: Oo, eto nga sanang isang room.
R: Ipa-rent mo ng buo. Tapos hanap ka ng bahay mo.
Me: Tapos ako sa lansangan titira? Palaboy-laboy sa Cubao, ganun?
R: Oo para mas malaki kita mo. Kuha ka room for rent na lang.

~Bakit ganito mga kaibigan ko? Mga baliw. 😂🤣~

#UsapangRedCarpet

#UsapangRedCarpet

Rhein: Anong oras na, busog ka pa ba?

Me: Ewan ko ba, nakakabusog na pala ngayon ang pagmamahal 🤣

Rhein: Hindi pagmamahal ang nakakabusog, lutang ka lang 😂😂

Me: Dito pa ako simbahan. Lakas ng ulan pero di pa ako gutom

Rhein: Napapadalas ka sa simbahan ah. Ganyan din ako nung bago ako mag asawa 😂😂

Me: So Malapit na ako, ganun ba?

Rhein: Uu. 😂😂😂

#SomethingNew

Me in bubble thought: Parang OK gupit ni kuya sakin.

Me to cashier: Tumaas ba haircut?

Cashier to barber: Hairstyle ba ito?

Barber: Oo kasi ganito ginawa ko, blah blah blah

Me to cashier: Sige na nga. Hairstyle ng kalbo. 

😂😂😂

#UsapangBes

Me reviewing for another license

Bes: Ilan exam na ba nakuha mo, (enumerate nya)

Me: 😂🤣😂

Bes: Ano ba balak natin, mag tayo ng training center? 😂🤣😂

Me: Meron bang exam for jowa license? Hindi ko siguro yun maipapasa.

#UsapangRedCarpet

Rhein: San rampa mo bukas?

Me: Wala pa. Rest day ko bukas.

Rhein: Punta ka sa Philam?

Me: Sana umabot ako.

Rhein: Yness?

Me: Eto magla lunch pa lang

Rhein: Lunch ng 3pm. Sabagay ako din, nagsalang pako damit, blah blah

Me: May client ako kagabi. Mga 1am na natapos

Rhein: Grabeeee anong client yan?

Me: Love client 😂😂😂

Rhein: Kaloka ka. Ano kaya kinain mo kagabi at hanggang ngayon buhay ka pa din at hindi nagugutom?

Me: Pagmamahal at kilig. 🤣🤣🤣

Rhein: Nakakain na pala yun? 😅

Lesson: pwede mabuhay sa 💓 lang 😂😆🤣

To be continued...

#UsapangRedCarpet

R: Ano ba itatanong ko sa (insert name of company)?

Me: Itanong mo kung pwede wag ka na I-text ng agent nila?

R: Pwede. Yung laging message hi.

Me: Ask mo kung pwede ibahin naman text ng agent nila, ganun?

R: Oo. Pwede naman kasi wazzup, Hey, Yo

Me: 😂😂😂

R: Ganern. Kasi sabi minsan Hi Miss. Ay mali, Hello Miss. Hello Miss ! Exclamation point talaga.

Me: 🤣🤣🤣

R: From May to July may exclamation point pa aketch

Me:Sumagot ka daw kasi. 🤣🤣🤣

Convo on my way to work

#UsapangBes

Habang naghihintay sa queue dito, meron mag jowa na nagpaplano ng mga bagay-bagay

Me: Bes itong mag jowa nang-i-inggit. 😂🤣

Bes: Gumitna ka, sabihin mo, let's start from the beginning

Me: Sabihin ko ulitin nila usapan, di ko naumpisahan

Bes: Sabihin mo, wag nila masyado bilisan ang usapan, di ka maka-follow.

Me: Makapag stretching nga 😂

TAMANG LIBANG LANG

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!


=================================



Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
===============

Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...
============== =
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
== =============
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!