Edwin & Marly's Wedding: My First Impromptu Hosting Assignment

Attending the wedding will be my first after years and years of not going to any of such kind. Why? I've gone out the business of caring. I'm not comfortable. And I just don't want to.

But one very good thing that happened in Edwin and Marly's wedding is my reawakening. I ask myself, how many more friends would entrust one of their happiest moments to make me be an important part of it? Only few I know, like the kind of friendship I have with Marly.

Marly, a very good friend of mine wants me to host her wedding. My initial reaction is, do you want your guests to fall asleep? Then I heard her usual laugh. She said she mean it. I don't know why.

Maybe, she’s used to my funny-conversation with friends where we’d burst into laughter whenever I share my opinions. My friends know that I never got serious in almost anything I say. Even about breaking ups, even about relationships with family and with almost anyone, I never get serious. My life is a joke. My friends know that.

Maybe, that’s what she’s expecting if I host their wedding. Anyway, I said yes I will although our prior agreement is for me to sing only in their wedding. I will because she’s my friend and I may never have that opportunity again.

When I said yes, that started my worries. I told her I need to have the program soonest possible time which I got such a little sooner before the wedding ceremony started. Haha. I told her that some guests might be offended if I’d be myself. Huh. But she just laughed at it. I also said I want to see the location, and with our friends, we visited the place.

But there’s one condition that Marly reiterated: I should never wear anything much that I’d look like the star of the night. Laughing out loud, I agreed. The newly-wed couple must be the focus of attention anyway.

Night before the wedding, I had to sleep early because I still got to work at 5am ‘til 2pm, wedding is at 3:30. I had my clothes in a bag ready to change outfit before the wedding. I took a cab to the church, where I don’t know the exact address. On my way, I’m calling my friend to tell where the driver must take turns. I reached the church at 3pm. I’m the first one to arrive actually. After few minutes, the groom arrives together with his parents. I had my chit-chat with him and asking some questions that will fill my dead-airs during the program. Principal sponsors arrived and then the secondary sponsors and some of our friends and other guests.

But where is the program list? The ever beautiful and fancy and all-out-smiling bride arrived in a bridal car. She’s Marly on her wedding gown with never-to-be-missed-ribbon. That’s how she wants her gown to be, with ribbon. She said, she sent the program to my email which unfortunately I wasn’t able to check as it was filtered in the office server. The hard copy is in the hotel which I need to look for and get back. With the other working for the wedding, we went back to the hotel and we found the program and included the cd that we might need in the program also.

With Ate Daisy, we went to the reception area so we can prepare the location before their arrival. Everything was set up. We tested the dvd player, microphone, etc... But the dove requested by the couple is not available. Too late to know that we don't have time to complain, they gave a gift instead and we only sighed. What more can we do. Some of the guests were already seated and said they have waited too long. Blame it on the priest, they said.

We plan to start the program before the newly-wed couple enters the door of the reception. We waited a while then here comes the bride and groom, but he parents are missing, they arrived later. Instead of going with the program, we let the wedding singer fill the gap. Unfortunately, the cd he brought is not compatible with the dvd player. We had to request for another cd player specifically for his cds. We then decided that be food served earlier. After few talks and wishes, we called for another song again and I decided to sit beside my friends. I had the soup and suddenly I felt the stomach wanting more. I'm already hungry that I just didn't notice. But that's okay, Edwin's sister is so nice that she even requested that I had a special seat but I refused. I enjoyed sharing the food with my other friends. The singer had finished singing and I went back just to play some songs while we devour the sumptuous meals served.

I went back on the place as the host right away. It's getting late we had to wrap things up in less than 30 minutes. I called some of the couple's friends for their wishes. It was a heartfelt moment, reminiscing how each friend wants to pass on to the next generation the friendship among them to their children. Only the best among the best of friends do that. Some of Marly's friends even had to turn their back to wipe away their tears of joy which made me believe, it's really the thought that counts.

We had to rush with the cake and wine ceremony and the throwing of bouquet and the garter. We even had to call each single male and female to participate. Anyway, Doreen and Alvin got those memorabilia from the couple. And they kissed just as what the couple's do. Don't worry Doreen, your soon-to-be husband won't read this.

The highlight of the event is the message of the couple. Despite the many encumbrance that made me not even follow the program, the couple had an all-out-smile recognizing all our efforts and the guests attendance. Never had I seen them frown or even worry, not even in a single moment. I am really very proud of being a part of this very simple yet very memorable and worry-free union of happy hearts. I could only wish the best for Edwin and Marly.

After all the gift-opening and picture-takings, I hurried to supposedly watch Jed Madela's Christmas Concert. On our way to the jeepney stop, I'm talking to another friend who'll get married next year. Her name is Doreen, my new laughing-buddy. She's a natural comedienne. But I seriously promised her that I'll go all the way to Iloilo to attend her wedding, another hosting assignment in the making. Huh!

I'm sure it took lots of laugh and a very good friendship for Marly to finally say, I'd be the one to do it. I may not have done my best, I may not have been the usual friend who has comment on anything during that celebration, but I felt I'm the best friend, Marly and Edwin will forever remember and will forever hold the crown(?) and the microphone on the start of their happy life as a married couple. A happy and married life that I could only wish for. Marly knows that.

This is the story of my first impromptu hosting assignment.

Joke time again!!

NARS: doc, bat tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?
DR: alin, yung bakla?
NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porket bading siya.
DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?
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things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:
-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?
-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!
-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!
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inspiring quote of the day:
"hindi ako tamad. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan ko ibubuhos kasipagan ko."
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BOY: I know we are also like matter, we can't occupy the same space at the same time. Kaya aalis na lang ako.
GIRL: bakit ganun para tayong mga parallel lines, why can't we meet at the same point?
BOY: your verbs and actions are not correct that's why all of the subjects are affected.
GIRL: ayoko na. you've reached my boiling point. And now my heart is getting to its freezing point!
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'dear te, dear te, dear te!!!'
-sigaw ni Anabel Rama kay Lorin at Veniz (mga anak ni Rofa) habang naglalaro ng tubig sa kanal.
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MRS: hon, am I pretty or ugly?
MR: uhm.. both..MRS: anong both? Pwedeng pretty and ugly?
MR: ang ibig ko sabihin, you're pretty ugly.
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TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?
PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.
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AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)
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BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!
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DOC: umubo ka!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: ubo pa!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: okay.
PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
DOC: may ubo ka.
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TRIVIA: do you know how they make rubber gloves in China ?
Workers deep their hands into melted latex, then air-dry them.
Now guess how they make condoms?
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Why God invented menopause:
Once upon a time, a 70 year old woman gave birth.
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BISITA: pwedeng makita ang baby mo?
MOM: mamaya na.
30 minutes after.
BISITA: pwede na bang makita?
MOM: oo, pero hintay muna tayo na umiyak kasi nakalimutan ko kung saan ko linagay.
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in a miss gay pageant:
HOST: how can we uplift our economy today even though we are under economic crisis?BAKLA: (namutla) mga bakla! Akala ko ba miss gay ito? Quizbee pala!
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Sexy girl sumangguni sa mayor:
MAYOR: iha, ano ang maipaglilingkod ko sa iyo?
SEXY: mayor, pag nakakarinig po ako ng lalaking nagmumura di ko mapigilan sarili ko na yayain siya magsex!
MAYOR: 'tang ina! Di nga?
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TEACHER: ano ang pambansang ibon?
BOY: chicken?
TEACHER: hindi! kulay brown ito!
BOY: fried chicken!
TEACHER: hindi! mas maliit ito sa chicken.
BOY: knorr chicken cubes!
TEACHER: get out!
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when your lips are silent and your eyes are closed and your ears are deaf.
It only means one thing.
May discount ka sa jeep.
Disabled ka 'tol, disabled!
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The Philippine presidents flying in a plane.
GMA: what if I throw a check for a million pesos out the window to make at least 1 Filipino happy?
CORY: but my dear, why don't you throw 2 checks for half a million each and thus make 2 Filipinos happy?
RAMOS: why not throw four checks for a quarter of a million each and make four Filipinos happy?
And on it went until finally, Erap blurts out:"but madam president, why not simply throw yourself out of the window and make all the Filipinos happy?"
============

a great example of globalization:
princess Diana, a Welsh princess with an Egyptian fiancé, crashed in a French tunnel while riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, chased by Italian paparazzis on Japanese big bikes. An American doctor tried to save them using Brazilian meds. This message was made by a Filipino on a Finnish Nokia phone smuggled from China by a Pakistani based in Quiapo.
============

1. Trulalu.
2. eklavu
3. eklavu.
4. trulalu
5. eklavu
6. trulalu
7. trulalu.
8. eklavu
9. trulalu
10. trulalu

-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or false na quiz.
============

MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!
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kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM!
GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva eke k.
GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate.
GMA: oshah ba.
============

Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya!
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BOY: dad, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.
DAD: ha? aba'y elementary pa lang ako eh hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba'y di pa ba nila nakikita?
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Anong sabi ng centipede nung may nakasalubong siyang isang centipede?
"uy pare. Apir!apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!.... ......
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BOY1: nkakakaawa naman lola mo.
BOY2: bakit?
BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo. Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.
BOY2: papansin lang yun!
BOY1: bakit?
BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya!
============

a boss confused about his Math asked his secretary:If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off?
SECRETARY: everything sir! Dress, bra, panty!
============

TEACHER: mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay ay galing sa dugo't pawis ng mga magsasaka?
MGA BATA: eeewwww!
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BOY: is this your first time?
GIRL: (angrily) oo naman noh. You guys talaga. So kuleeet! Always asking me the same question. Paulit-ulit. Hmp!
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magsyota sa motel.
BF: alam mo love, ikaw ang first girl na dinala ko dito.
GF: sinungaling. Sabi nila lagi ka dito!
BF: oo, pero ikaw lang talaga ang girl!
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STUDENT: ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa?
TEACHER: natural hindi.
STUDENT: good, di ko po ginawa assignment ko!
============

PARI: halika sa sulok
MADRE: bakit po?
PARI: sara mo pinto.
MADRE: wag po!
PARI: patayin mo ilaw!
MADRE: diyos ko po!
PARI: tamo rosary ko. Glow in the dark!
============

why was white chocolate invented?
So little black kids could have dirty faces too!
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isang araw sa may tindahan.
PULUBI: palimos po.
TINDERO: wala po, patawad.
PULUBI: sige na po, kahit magkano.
TINDERO: sya sige! Eto, dos.
PULUBI: salamat po ng marami. Isang Malboro nga po, yung menthol.
============

TITSER: bat ka na-late?
EDWARD: nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki.
TITSER: tinulungan mo siyang maghanap?
EDWARD: hindi po, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya.
============

sa kasalan
PARI: sana ang donation mo ay katumbas ng ganda ng pakakasalan mo.
GROOM: eto P5, father.Tinignan ng pari ang bride.
PARI: eto P4 sukli mo iho.
============

sabi nung friend ko, nakakalaki daw ng tiyan ang beer. Kasi noon minsan nalasing siya, nabuntis siya!
============

a thirsty city girl went to a barrio
GIRL: where galling your water manong?
MATANDA: sa ilog ineng.
GIRL: ha? You drink that water manong?
MATANDA: duhhh! Why, sa syudad ba chine-chew?

HOMOPHOBIA

I tried to google the definition of homophobia on the net and I got several. Most definition says it's a fear of gays and lesbians. The suffix "phobia" is derived from the Greek word "phobos." In English, it means either fear or loathing. "Homo" is a Greek for "same or equal." It's a conotation that it's a hatred of homosexuality or hatred of homosexuals or fear of gays and lesbians.

But this is not about that fear. What's left in my mind is the definition I collected long time ago and that is the fear of seeing yourself, the bad side of you, in other people. That's the fear that makes a baby to stop from crying when the baby hears his/her recorded tantrums.

I write this because I had an experience when I decided to give in to understand someone. I felt like being an undercover agent but not with the purpose of discovering something. I did it all for love. Read what I did for love.

JOKE TIME!!!

Funny stuff only found in the good old Philippines. ..

>>* Nakasulat sa pader:
>"MARUNONG KA BANG TUMAHOL? ASO LANG ANG UMIIHI DITO!"

>>* along a highway in Pampanga:
>"WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE"

>>* in a Baguio grocery:
>"FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE"

>>* in Cubao:
>"NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY"

>>* on a parking lot:
>"TAXI AND OUTSIDE CAR NOT ALLOWED"

>>* along Luneta Boulevard:
>"BAWAL TUMAE SA BULEVARD"

>>* on Jeepney and Bus signs:
>"BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF"

>>* on a Flower shop in Rizal Avenue:
>"WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS"

>>* on a delivery truck:
>"NOT FOR HERE"

>>* on window of a restaurant in Baguio:
>"WANTED: BOY WAITRESS"

>>* A grafitti inside the cubicle of a ladies' C.R. in a university:
>"PLEASE DON'T SIT LIKE A FROG, SIT LIKE A QUEEN."

>>* At a men's comfort room, above a urinal:
>"HAWAK MO ANG KINABUKASAN NG BAYAN"

>>* at a construction site in Mandaluyong:
>"BAWAL OMEHI DITO. ANG MAHOLI BOG-BOG"

>>* somewhere along San Andres:
>"NO URINATING, ON THE OVER WALLS"

>>* vacant lot near makati ave.:
>"DON'T PARKING"

>>* at an eatery in Cebu:
>"WE HAB SOPDRINK IN CAN AND IN BATOL!

>>and this is the best of them all!!

>* on a building somewhere in the Philippines. ..
>"NOTARY PUBLIC TUMATANGGAP DIN NG LABADA KUNG LINGGO"

Phils is overpopulated by corrupt officials

I'm 100% sure this income disparity is replicated in all the provinces ofthe Philippines. If we had more Ed Panlilios in our government, we would bejust like Singapore in a short time. Read on...... We hope we are witnessing what will be a sustained revolution in good governance in the Province of Pampanga , under its newly elected governor, Fr. Ed Panlilio. According to the Philippine Daily Inquirer of August 26, only one monthafter Fr. Panlilio assumed his gubernatorial duties, the province's incomefrom the quarrying of volcanic ash from Mount Pinatubo had reached P29.4million. (Haulers pay a fee of P300 per truck of volcanic ash that they haul from the quarry.) By contrast, during his predecessor Mark Lapid's term as governor, the province's income from the same quarrying operations amounted to only P29 million a year. This gaping variation in official incomes from the same activity should inspire a new set of textbooks in Arithmetic, especially for the schoolchildren of Pampanga. There is nothing like local color and local situations to cultivate comprehension in young minds.

Sample problems:

If Fr. Ed's provincial government can collect P29.4million in 26 days (we assume no quarrying on Sundays), how much does itcollect in one day?
Answer: An average of P1.130 million.

If Fr. Ed's provincial government collects an average of P1.130 million a day from quarrying operations, how much can it collect in one year of 313 days (365 daysless 52 Sundays)?
Answer: P353, 690,000, or P354 million.

If Fr. Ed's provincial government can collect P354 million a year, and Mark Lapid's provincial government collected only P29 million a year, what is the difference in their official yearly collections?
Answer: P325 million a year.

If Mark Lapid was governor for four years and his provincial government's annual collections from quarrying amounted to an average of P29 million, how much did his provincial govt. officially collect in four years?
Answer: P116 million.

If Fr. Ed manages to remain as provincial governor for four years, and his provincial government's annual collection from quarrying were to average P354 million, how much will his provincial government collect infour years?
Answer: P1.416 billion.

What is the difference between P1.416 billion and P116 million?
Answer:P1.3 billion.

Where did this P1.3 billion go?
Answer: Only God and the Lapids know.('Lapids' is in plural because Mark, as a second generation political dynast, succeeded his own father, now Sen. Lito Lapid. We don't know how much Lito's provincial government officially collected from quarrying operations during his watch. Should be a good investigative project for media.)

If Gawad Kalinga spends an average of P75,000 per lowcost house, how many low-cost houses can P1.3 billion build?
Answer:17,333 low-cost houses.

If the average Pampanga family were to consist of five persons (father,mother, three children), how many people would be benefited by 17,333low-cost houses?
Answer: 86,665 persons.

End of Arithmetic lesson.
Fr. Ed is to be congratulated for setting a high benchmark for collection from quarrying operations against which his predecessors have a moral obligation to explain why their collections were so low, and against which future governors will be judged by the people of Pampanga.

Volcanic ash, by the way, is a superior building material. Many of the buildings, aqueducts & monuments of the Roman Empire that have survived for almost 2,000 yearsare known to have been built w/ volcanic ash, quarried from the environsof Mount Vesuvius after it erupted in 79 AD.

We don't expect Fr.Ed's moral victory in Pampanga to be remembered for the next 2,000yrs. We would be happy with five, ten or 20 years, enough, we hope, to spawn a moral-revolution- by- example to save the Filipinos from their worst enemies - themselves. GOOD LUCK Philippines !"

Therefore, the primary cause of poverty is not overpopulation of thePhil! It's because our country is overpopulated with corrupt officials"

MOTIVATIONAL MESSAGE

Every day should be a good day and you should live it like it's your last.

Some people live a life of anger, frustration, pain, jealousy, and/ordishonesty, but all of these things will come to pass when your time here isover. Just take a moment to think.

We will not be on this earth forever.

One day, we will not have to worry about going to work or how we will make payment to our loan.

We will not have to worry where our next meal will come from, or how we can buy a house or a car.

At anytime, God could take us off of this earth, so you should appreciate today and not worry about tomorrow, for nobody knows what tomorrow will bring.

When you wake up each morning, thank the Lord for waking you up.When you lie down to sleep at night, thank the Lord for another day.

If you have a job, thank the Lord for your place of employment. Ask that he may ble ss you in everything that you do. Ask him to give you the knowledge and the wisdom to do your job. If you don't have a job, thank him anyway.

Ask him to direct you to the job that is right for you. When you are eating breakfast, lunch or dinner, say a prayer. Thank the Lord for providing foodand nourishment to your body.

If you are healthy, thank the Lord for the health and strength in your body.If you aren't, thank him anyway for life, and ask him to heal your body.

So the next time that you get mad, think twice.

The next time you complain about something at your job, think twice. The next time you say you wish you had steak instead of chicken, think twice.

Be thankful for what you have, and the life that God has given you.

Pray and ask the Lord for guidance. Be sincere, as God knows whether or not we mean it from the heart.

Help those in need as a gift from your heart, and not so you can get a pat on the back.

Put forth the extra effort in everything that you do. Go after what you want in life, and do whatever it takes to achieve your goals.

No matter how perfect you think you are, there is always a room for improvement, and an opportunity for you to do better.

If you are depressed, don't cry, just hold your head up and the Lord will help you through. Pray and ask the Lord to deliver you from your state of depression.

Whatever it is that you are depressed about, God will take that pain from you heart. It may not be at that moment, or that next hour, or maybe noteven the next day, but He WILL do it if you just believe in Him.

God may not show up when YOU want him to, but He's ALWAYS right on time. God will not give us more than we can bear.

Sometimes he will present us with issues that will test our faith, but youhave to be strong enough to believe that God will do exactly what he says.

The message for today is to praise the Lord, have faith in the Lord, give thanks to the Lord, and live every day like it is your last.

Theoretically speaking, if the Lord never does anything else for us, other than wake us up each day, put food in our mouths and clothes on our backs,we should thank him anyway.

He died so that we could have life on this earth.

Ask why five times

It was discovered that the Lincoln Memorial was deteriorating faster than any of the other Washington, DC, memorials – why?

Because it was being cleaned more often than the other memorials – why?

Here is an example of how five whys can give a deeper perspective:

It was being cleaned more often because there were significantly more bird droppings on the Lincoln Memorial vs. any of the other memorials – why?

There were more birds around the Lincoln Memorial than any other memorial and it was the sparrow population that was significantly higher – why?

There was more of the favorite food of the sparrows at the Lincoln Memorial – specifically spider mites – why?

They found that the lighting used at the Lincoln Memorial was different than the other memorials and this lighting was conducive to the breeding of spider mites.

They changed the lighting and solved the problem.

This is an easy yet powerful tool. It works very well. Try it.

FAMILY

I ran into a stranger as he passed by, "Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told, How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor, You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small, And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed; "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?" He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you. I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."

He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means? FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne, Creator of The Secret

Two words which will change your life!

There are two words that, when spoken, have the most unfathomable power to completely change your life. Two words which, when they pass your lips, will be the cause of bringing absolute joy and happiness to you. Two words that will create miracles in your life. Two words that will wipe out negativity. Two words that will bring you abundance in all things. Two words which, when uttered and sincerely felt, will summon all the forces and vibrations in the Universe to move all things for you.

The only thing standing between you, happiness, and the life of your dreams, are two words...

THANK YOU

Gratitude is one of the easiest and most powerful ways to transform your life. If you become truly grateful, you will magnetize absolute joy to you everywhere you go, and in everything you do. In fact, without gratitude, nothing can ever change. Your life will change to the degree that you use gratitude and begin to feel grateful. If you are just a little bit grateful, your life will change a little bit. If you are very grateful, your whole life will change. If you live gratitude every single day, you will become one of the greatest human beings on the planet, and the light of your life will uplift our world.

The greatest human beings who have ever lived showed us the way with gratitude, and by their example became shining lights in our history. Einstein said "thank you" hundreds of times every single day! Ancient wisdom dating back thousands of years gave us the truth about gratitude. Every single religion speaks of giving thanks. All the sages and saviors of the world demonstrated the use of gratitude in all their teachings.

Of the thousands of letters we receive from people whose lives have become miracles after experiencing The Secret, every single one of them has made gratitude their way of life. It is impossible to be negative when you are giving thanks. It is impossible to criticize or blame when you are feeling grateful. It is impossible to feel sad when you are in gratitude. Most people are sporadically grateful, however, to change your life with gratitude, a new way of learning how to be truly grateful is what will bring unlimited happiness into your life.

So how do you live in gratitude? Begin your day by feeling grateful. Be grateful for the bed you just slept in, the roof over your head, the carpet or floor under your feet, the running water, the soap, your shower, your toothbrush, your clothes, your shoes, the car that you drive, your job, your friends, your refrigerator that keeps your food cold. Be grateful for the weather, the sun, the sky, the birds, the trees, the grass, the rain, and the flowers. Be grateful for the stores that make it so easy to buy the things you need, the restaurants, the utilities and services and electrical appliances that make your life effortless. Be grateful for magazines and the books that you read. Be grateful for the chair that you sit on, and the pavement that you walk on. Be grateful for your favorite music that sweeps you away, and for movies that make you feel good. Be grateful for your phone that connects you with people, for your computer, for the electricity that lights up your life. Be grateful for air travel that flies you everywhere. Be grateful for the roads and traffic lights that keep the traffic in order. Be grateful to those who built our bridges. Be grateful for your pet, for your child, for your loved ones, for your eyes that enable you to read this. Be grateful for your imagination. Be grateful that you can think! Be grateful that you can speak. Be grateful that you can laugh and smile. Be grateful that you can breathe! Be grateful that you are alive! Be grateful that you are You! Be grateful that there are two words that can change your life!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

The more that you practice gratitude the more deeply you will feel it in your heart, and the depth of the feeling is the key. The more deeply and sincerely you feel it, the more you will bring absolute bliss and happiness on every single subject. Watch what happens in your life when you practice gratitude every single day and in every single moment and in every opportunity that you can. Remember, if you are criticizing, you are not being grateful. If you are blaming, you are not being grateful. If you are complaining, you are not being grateful. If you are feeling tension, you are not being grateful. If you are rushing, you are not being grateful. If you are in a bad mood, you are not being grateful.

To understand the power and the magic of gratitude, you have to experience it for yourself. So why not begin by deciding to find 100 things a day to be grateful for? As you practice gratitude every day, it won't take long before gratitude is your natural state of being, and when it happens you will have unlocked one of the greatest Secrets to Life.
This week the United States is celebrating giving thanks with Thanksgiving Day. To inspire everyone to use gratitude, not just for one day but for every single day, The Secret is giving away 9,000 special edition Secret Gratitude Journals, which are beautiful, leather-bound journals. This gift is one journal per person, and the only cost for you is shipping.

For The Secret Gratitude Journal gift, click here.

There is just one other thing that I want you to know about Gratitude.....
When you are giving thanks, you FEEL GOOD!

Rhonda ByrneThe Secret... bringing joy to billions.

JOKES 5 - GMA

I love GMA [Gloria Macapagal Arroyo]. I support GMA. I don't want GMA to resign! (Send ds 2 20 friends & in 3 days U will lose 20 friends.) U will be sorry for your lapse in judgment!

Cardinal Sin [former Manila Archbishop Jaime Cardinal Sin] wish b4 dying is 4 GMA & Mike [Gloria Macapagal Arroyo’s husband] 2b on his side. D 1st couple askd: We R honored but Y us? Crdl Sin: I want 2 die lyk CHRiST w/ 2 thieves by my side

On a plane
GMA: If I throw P100 , 100 wil b hapi.
Mike: If throw P1000, 1000 wil b hapi.
PILOT: If I throw u both, millions wil b hapi!

Terrorists kidnapped GMA & demanded ransom money. "Pay us P500 million or we will set her on fire," demanded the ransom note. Bankrupt govt asked ppl for donations. So far, donations totaled 2T liters of gasoline. A grp of businessmen offered another 2T liters if Ramos and De Venecia were included.

Attention: Politiko Big Brother is postponed indefinitely. Globe and Smart [two biggest telecos in the Philippines] overloaded, 80 million Filipinos texted they want to evict GMA and JDV.

GMA 2 PNP: there is a group that is out to destroy me and my family.
PNP: we confirm that maam. The group is known as the PUBLIC.

Clinton and GMA were clasmates, di ba? Clinton's scandal had to do with a cigar. GMA's scandal has to do with garci [nickname of Virgilio Garcillano].

A man died & was asked by St. Peter: where are you from?
Man: Philippines po!
St. Peter: aha, from Gloria! you may enter heaven… You've suffered enough!

After an accident, GMA asked a man hu saved her wat reward he wants
Man: Wheelchair!
GMA: Y a wheelchair? U weren't hurt, r u?
Man: Wen my folks know I saved you, they'd break my legs

Let it go for 2007..By T. D. Jakes

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, They came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to…...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains …..

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…..

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ….....

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge…...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction…...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ….

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude…....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better…...

LET IT GO!!!

If you’re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him…...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship…....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves…...

LET IT GO!!!

If you’re feeling depressed and stressed …....

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying “take your hands off of it,” then you need to…...

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.GOD is doing a new thing for 2007!!!

WHAT ELSE WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY?

I would normally ask myself this question whenever I go to department stores or supermarkets. I always ask myself this question so in one way or another I can give myself the little luxury my money can afford. Looking back, I can only ask myself the question.

It's raining hard today. It started pouring on my way to Cubao from Makati. In Makati, I had this serious conversation with Randy, a very good friend of mine who stood by me against the odds. I told him I loved twice so much. He said: no, just once, the second time. I said the first time I left because I thought time and space is needed. Space that was never asked. Now that I keep on loving inspite of..., he said I don't deserve. He said I was too kind to have been treated such. I was crying when I called him for a talk, I need someone to talk to. (to be cont...)

MY SON

This is great, take a moment to read it, it will makeyour day!

The ending will surprise you

Take my Son

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went towar. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.

He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldierfor whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and hedied instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art." The young man held out this package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift."

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Everytime visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son The auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of theson. Who will bid for this picture?"

There was silence.

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one."

But the auctioneer persisted. "Will somebody bid forthis painting. Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"

Another voice angrily. "We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the realbids!"

But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the long time gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

"We have $10, who will bid $20?"

"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the mast ers.."

"$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?"

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son.

They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!"

A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's get on with the collection!"

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, theauction is over."

"What about the paintings?"

"I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.

The man who took the son gets everything!"

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross.Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: "The son, the son, who'll take the son?"

Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE...THAT'S LOVE

Building the kind of marriage that God wants us to enjoy

The passages below are taken from Bill Hybels’ book “Honest to God?” published in 1990 by Strand Publishing.

Through a strange turn of events, Lynne and I recently found ourselves holding hands and skating around a 1950s-style roller rink in southern Wisconsin. Several times throughout the evening it struck me that I would rather be holding hands and skating with her than with any other woman in the world. Though I probably shouldn’t have been, I was amazed by the strength of my attraction for her.

I first met Lynne twenty years ago. We were seventeen, and believe it or not, we were at a roller skating party. I saw her out of the corner of my eye, carefully checked her out, and was just about to ask her to skate when the announcer stopped the music and said the next skate was ladies’ choice. Much to my delight, the first girl to invite me to skate was Lynne.

So began five years of courtship that led to the marriage I count as one of the greatest blessings of my life. Lynne and I enjoy an authentic love relationship that provides mutually satisfying companionship and intimacy.

But you know from reading the previous chapter that our marriage wasn’t always that way. The flames that flickered twenty years ago nearly died many times, and they didn’t hit their present bonfire level without a lot of fanning of the coals.

During those long years of working out our marriage, we learned a lot about the difference between an authentic and an inauthentic marriage. In an authentic marriage, you genuinely delight in one another’s uniquenesses. You also know how to give and receive love in such a way that you both feel loved. And you enjoy the fun, romantic side of your marriage so much that you don’t have any trouble keeping your affections centered at home.

In an inauthentic marriage, you may talk about treasuring your spouse’s uniquenesses, but in reality you barely tolerate them. You may try to offer one another love in meaningful ways, but often you and your spouse end up feeling unloved and misunderstood. And fun and romance? It’s something you wistfully long for, but it’s never more than a dream. The grass always looks greener somewhere else.

In this chapter I want to offer three suggestions for moving from an inauthentic marriage to an authentic one. First, learn to understand and appreciate inborn temperament differences. Second, learn the “language of love.” And finally, take practical steps to nurture the fun side of marriage.

A RUDE AWAKENING

I dated Lynne off and on for five years, but it was not until after the wedding that I found out the awful truth. Lynne was strange. She was not normal like me.

To begin with, she turned out to be a near-recluse. I would come home from an exciting, energizing day at work and suggest we invite friends over for the evening, and Lynne would say, “Sorry, I don’t feel like it. I’d rather have a quiet evening alone.”

I would say, “Who did you talk to today?’ and she would say “No one.”

I would say, “Why don’t you plan a getaway with your friends this weekend,” and she would opt out because of a good book she was “dying to read.”

I did my best to transform her relational life. I did everything I could to encourage her to be more social---like me. But to no avail. She persisted in being a hermit.

She even accused me of being a “relationship junkie.” She said I had too many relationships and didn’t take any of them seriously enough. She stooped so low as to suggest that I treated our marriage too casually, like just another relationship in my list of many.

Then there was the issue of her oversensitivity. One night we watched a television movie about a man who died in an airplane crash on his way to propose marriage to a beautiful, young paraplegic. You would have thought Lynne’s best friend had just died. She couldn’t sleep. She cried all night. When I tried to talk sense into her, and reminded her it was just a movie, she accused me of hard-heartedness. “Can’t you feel the pain of that tragic, broken romance?”

I would tell her about a couple I met whose finances were in shambles, and she would ask me what I was going to do about it. I’d say, “Nothing. It’s their problem. They made the wrong choices. They created the debt. Now it’s their responsibility to scrimp and save their way out of it.”

She would say, “But they were young. They probably didn’t know any better. If you got yourself in a jam like that, wouldn’t you hope somebody would help you out?” She was always worrying about how people felt, always wanting to take responsibility for their problems.

To me it seemed obvious that sometimes people have to learn lessons the hard way. Sometimes forcing them to do that is just what they need. She said I just didn’t care about people. That I was heartless and cruel. That I had no feelings.

Then there was the planning issue. She always had to have everything planned. The word spontaneity was not in her vocabulary. Whenever I said, “Let’s do ‘such and such’,” she had to take time to “get ready” or “make arrangements.” And when I changed plans or came up with a spur-of-the-moment idea, she accused me of being unpredictable and disorganized!

I don’t know why I had been so blind to all this while we were dating. It was suddenly so clear that this girl had problems.

An ancient Greek legend tells of a Cyprian king named Pygmalion who found a unique way of solving potential marital differences. He became so frustrated with his inability to find the right woman to marry that he decided to sculpt one. Out of the most exquisite ivory he could find he fashioned the woman of his dreams. When he was done, he bowed and prayed. The ivory woman miraculously came to life. Pygmalion took her as his wife and they lived happily ever after.

It’s easy to see why that legend endured. Wouldn’t you love to custom-design a wife, or a husband? Wouldn’t it be fun to take the chisel and chip away until you had the man or woman of your dreams? That’s exactly what many of us try to do to our spouses. For years I tried to chip away at what I thought were Lynne’s rough edges, those flaws that made her think, or behave, or respond differently from me. I truly believed that if I could just get her to be more like me, we could have a decent marriage. She thought the same about me. We each thought that we were the standard by which all others should be judged.

But God intervened. He used a book called Please Understand Me:Character and Temperament Types by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates to reveal our mutual deception.DIFFERENT ISN’T BAD

In the 1920s Carl Jung took a new look at the old theory that just as people are born with differing physical traits---tall or short, brown-eyed or blue-eyed, right-handed or left-handed---so they are born with differing temperament traits. In the 1950s Isabel Myers and Katheryn Briggs expanded Jung’s work and devised the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test, a tool for identifying personality types based on various combinations of inborn temperament traits.

Please Understand Me is an in-depth look at Jung’s theory and the applications made by Myers and Briggs. Lynne and I read it one year on vacation, and to say it revolutionized our marriage is no exaggeration. It dispelled the notion that there is one standard of “normalcy” and whoever doesn’t fit it is wrong.

The theory proposes that people approach four selected areas of life in ways that are fundamentally different---but equally right. These different ways of behaving are called preferences.Extrovert/Introvert

The first area of difference looks at where people get their energy and how this impacts their relational patterns.

Extroverts derive energy from social contact, so they prefer to be with people most of the time. People interaction charges them up. Long stretches of aloneness weigh on them. Solitary work makes them feel “antsy.” They need the stimulation of relationships, and they enjoy initiating and maintaining many of them. That’s what keeps them fresh and vital.

Introverts derive energy from solitude, so they prefer to spend a lot of time alone. Quiet hours give them strength. If they spend too much time with people they become emotionally drained. It’s not that they don’t like people; it’s just that they can’t take heavy doses of them. They have to carefully balance their people interaction with lengthy blocks of solitude. They prefer a few significant relationships rather than many casual acquaintances.

If an introvert and an extrovert go on a private vacation together, after three or four days the introvert decides it would be great to live that way forever---in near-seclusion. At that point, the extrovert starts running from hotel room to hotel room, knocking on doors. “Hi! Hi! How long are you staying? Where are you from? Do you want to have lunch?”

Who’s right? They both are.Intuitive/Sensing

The second area of possible difference deals with how people take in and handle information, and how they solve problems.

Intuitive people focus on ideas and possibilities. They’re imaginative people who constantly dream of better ways to do something, and ideas tend to pop full-blown into their heads during moments of inspiration. They are big-picture types who don’t like to get mired down in intricate details and procedures. They see a problem, think about it awhile, then solve it according to gut-level perceptions. They just say, “Trust me, I know. I have a hunch about this. It’s going to work out.”

Sensing people say, “I’ll trust you when I see the facts! Give me the pertinent data first.” They are as sensible and realistic as the intuitive are imaginative, and accomplish more through perspiration than inspiration. They take in information through their senses---what they can see, hear, smell, or touch. They’re very conscious of details, and more oriented to facts and figures than ideas and possibilities. They like charts and graphs and balance sheets, and meticulously follow their systems and procedures.

At our church board meetings I watch our board of directors wrestle with amazingly complex issues regarding the future of our church. They handle millions of dollars and make decisions that affect thousands of lives. The intuitors talk about the big picture, and come up with visionary plans for future growth and added ministries. The sensors reach for their calculators and start crunching numbers. They want to make sure the dreams are anchored in reality.

It’s a good thing for our church that we have both kinds of leaders.

Thinkers/Feelers

The third area of differing preference has to do with how we make decisions.

Thinkers make decisions on the basis of clear logic and practicality. They take a cool, calculated approach and look at obvious cause and effect. If it makes sense, they do it. Clear and simple. Black and white. Thinkers are concerned about productivity, efficiency, profitability, effectiveness, and achievement of goals. If a thinking manager has to make a tough personnel decision, he decides what’s right, then carries it out without trauma. He says, “Paul, you may hurt for a while, but you’ll get over it. This is right for the company, and eventually you’ll realize that it’s best for you as well.”

Feelers base their decisions on more people-oriented implications. They tune in to people’s emotions and sentiments and ask, “How will this decision make them feel?” Because of this sensitivity, they agonize over confrontations and lose sleep over decisions that impact other people. They have a heightened ability to empathize. They are concerned with things like peace, harmony, and understanding.

When feelers see people in pain, they can actually feel the pain themselves. They have no trouble crying with those who cry. When thinkers see people in pain, they take a logical, unemotional approach. They determine the source of the problem or pain and suggest practical ways to alleviate it. Obviously the world needs both---people who can feel deeply and empathize, and people who can move ahead with practical solutions.

Structured/Unstructured

This last category deals with basic life orientation.

Structured people prefer a predictable routine. They thrive on organization. They respond well to deadlines, rules, and policies. They like to make a plan and stick with it. They’re frustrated by interruptions, surprises, or change. The fewer uncertainties there are in their lives, the happier they are. I call them “just-settle-it” people. They like it when the decisions are made, the plans are set, and everything’s settled.

Unstructured people prefer spontaneity. They disdain routines, rules, and deadlines, and avoid planning at all costs. They prefer to let the day unfold naturally, and see what adventure might be just around the corner. They’re unpredictable and oftentimes disorganized. I call them “play-it-by-ear” people, because they like life best when it’s unplanned and unsettled, when all the options are open.

You can imagine the frustration that occurs when structured and unstructured people work or live together. They can drive each other crazy.

AH HA!

Lynne and I didn’t have to read far to see why we had problems. Our “fundamental differences” were glaring.

We’re both intuitive, so we didn’t have to deal with “Intuitive/Sensing” conflicts. But in every other category we were extreme opposites. I’m an extrovert; Lynne’s an introvert. I’m off the charts as a thinker; she’s the ultimate feeler. I’m unstructured; she prefers structure.

As we looked back over the years, we realized we had some heavy duty apologizing to do.

For years I had tried to get Lynne to be more relational, notrealizing that God made her to thrive in an environment rich in solitude. He gave her gifts, abilities, and talents that need to be nurtured in quiet aloneness. Because I didn’t understand that, I pushed her into a lifestyle that depleted her energy and left her empty. And then I wondered why she was frustrated, unhappy, and unproductive.

During those same years Lynne questioned my love for her because of what she considered my extreme involvement with friends and colleagues. She assumed I found her boring or undesirable. Why else would I crave so many outside relationships? She made me feel guilty for my sociability, and then wondered why I felt stifled and trapped.

Now we do everything possible to free one another to be who God made us to be. I free Lynne to live a quieter, more solitary life. She frees me to enjoy the level of relationality I naturally desire.

What a difference that’s made! Lynne has blossomed as a woman, wife, mother, and servant of Christ as she’s pursued a quieter life. At the end of a day I love hearing about the work she’s accomplished, the book she’s read, or the insights she’s gained during her solitary hours.

As I’ve pursued and nurtured a multitude of relationships, I’ve been stretched and challenged to become a better man. In the end that’s enhanced my relationship with Lynne. She brings to our relationship the strength of her solitude, and I bring the stimulation of my interactions. The same differences that used to hinder our relationship now enhance it. What we tried so hard to change, we now cherish.

The same is true in the thinking/feeling area. For years Lynne accused me of being heartless and cruel because I so easily made tough decisions that made people uncomfortable or upset. I thought she was neurotic and mushy because she was so unrealistically concerned about how people felt and what they thought.

Yet we each have a perspective that our world, church, family, and relationship desperately needs. My tough decision making has to be softened by Lynne’s sensitivity. Her empathy has to be balanced by my practicality.

What about the structured/unstructured conflict? It’s the same old story. For years we locked horns. She was frustrated by my unpredictability, and I was impatient with her planning. But once we understood our fundamental difference, we could work around it.

Now I make it a point to alert Lynne to changes or new ideas as soon as possible so she can have time to plan and prepare. And I’ve come to appreciate her organizational abilities. Our family life would be chaos if she didn’t keep me and the kids in order.

At the same time, Lynne has learned to be more flexible and accept my spontaneity. And she’s learned that it’s okay to set aside the schedule now and then and “play it by ear.” It can even be fun.

Once again, our differences have become benefits. I provide the adventure; she provides the plan that makes the adventure work.

Do you see how important it is to understand these fundamental temperament differences? It’s hard to love someone authentically when you don’t understand them. It’s hard to resolve conflicts when you can’t see the underlying issues. Lynne and I could have avoided years of frustration if we had realized that we weren’t better or worse than one another---just different. When you accept and quit passing moral judgment on those differences, you open the door for workable compromise. You end up delighting in the very differences that once caused division.

What about you? Do you and your spouse need to patiently understand each other’s ways of behaving that stem from different inborn temperament traits? Then do it! Or better yet, find a counsellor who can give you the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test, and help you work through the results. It’s an investment that could revolutionize the most important relationship in your life.YOU GOTTA SAY IT RIGHT

The second key to establishing authenticity in marriage is learning the appropriate language of love.

Several years ago I met a man at a social function at our church. During our conversation, he repeatedly referred to how much he loved and appreciated his wife. He told me how much he delighted in her presence and how easy it was to tell her he loved her. I reflected later that it was refreshing to meet a man so enthused about his marriage.

A short time later, this man’s wife came to me for counselling. Her problem was her relationship with her husband. She was convinced he didn’t love her. I couldn’t believe it!

After several sessions with the husband and wife together, guess what I learned? The husband really was in love with his wife; he had not lied to me. But I also learned that the wife really did not feel loved. For some reason, her husband’s expressions of love were not doing the job.

I didn’t understand why they had this problem. If he loved her, why couldn’t she feel it? I’ve learned since then that the husband was simply not speaking the right language. He was expressing love, but not in terms his wife could understand.

Just as we have inborn preferences regarding relational patterns, problem solving, decision making, and structure, so we have preferences in regard to giving and receiving love. Most of us aren’t aware of this, but it’s true. We each prefer certain “languages” of love.

Here are some of the common ones.

Touch.

Some people just naturally touch the people they love. If they want to tell someone they love them, they kiss their cheek, or hold their hand, or gather them up in a bear hug. That’s what comes naturally to them.

Verbal expression.

When these people feel love welling up within them, their only comfortable outlet is their mouth. “I love you. I love you.” While some people find it hard to express their love in words, these people can’t stop.

Service.

These people communicate love by serving the beloved. For them, love isn’t love unless it’s demonstrated in practical terms---wallpapering the kitchen, washing the car, preparing favorite meals.

Providers.

These people consider their breadwinning to be the greatest expression of their love. Providers go to great lengths to ensure that even after they’re gone, their loved ones will be well- provided for.

Gift-givers.

These people keep the department stores solvent. They love to buy little gifts (or big ones), wrap them beautifully, and present them with childish glee to the ones they love.

Opportunity enthusiasts.

These people like to think of ways to challenge and inspire their loved ones to greatness. Their goal is to open up opportunities that will offer stimulation and fulfillment.

Time-given.

These people are primarily concerned with fellowship. They’re willing to rearrange their schedules so they can offer large blocks of time to the significant people in their lives.

As you go down this list, can you pick out your preferred language of love? Can you pick out your spouse’s? Do you both speak the same language?

A CLEAN MISS

For years Lynne and I spoke different languages of love and didn’t even know it.

Lynne decided early in our marriage that to communicate love to me, she needed to speak the language of the Galloping Gourmet. She knocked herself out every evening to prepare lovely meals that she thought would make me feel loved. They didn’t. I’m not a connoisseur of fine foods, and a gourmet meal says the same thing to me as a tuna sandwich.

I finally told her that. I said, “Don’t spend all this time on fancy meals. It doesn’t matter to me. Just sit down and talk to me. Tell me I’m great. Call me a super-husband. Encourage me. Cheer me on. That’ll make me feel loved.”

Being an introvert, Lynne is not naturally free with words. But when she learned I needed to hear love, she disciplined herself to become more verbally expressive. To put it bluntly, she learned to tell me what I needed to hear. Sometimes she even writes little notes and sticks them on my minor, so I can start the day with her words of affirmation.

Another way I enjoy receiving love is through having people open doors of opportunity for me. Because I appreciate this, I assumed Lynne would, too. For years I did everything in my power to offer opportunities that would stimulate and inspire her. I urged her to take flying lessons, or skydiving lessons, or go helicopter skiing in the Rocky Mountains. What an encourager I was.

Finally she said, “Bill, why are you always pushing me? I feel like you’re never satisfied with what I’m doing. You’re always trying to head me off in new directions. I wish that once in a while you would just put your arms around me, hold me, and let me feel loved and accepted just the way I am.”

I was shocked. I thought I was doing her a favor, and in reality I was making her feel pressured and inadequate. What she really needed was a loving embrace, but that honestly never crossed my mind.

Do you see how important it is for spouses to understand and communicate their preferences for receiving love? Most of us mistakenly assume our spouses want to receive love the same way we do. So whatever language comes most naturally to us, we use with them. That usually doesn’t work.

We must tell one another which love language communicates most clearly to us. It’s not hard to learn new ways of communicating love. And it can transform a marriage where spouses hope they’re loved into a marriage where they know they are.

Here’s a personal challenge. Look over the seven languages of love I described, and decide which you prefer to give and receive. Have your spouse do the same. Then go out for dinner and discuss your findings. If this helps you as much as it did Lynne and me, you’ll be on the road to a mote loving marriage---immediately.

LET’S HAVE PUN!

One afternoon, shortly after we were married, Lynne and I heard a noisy commotion in our front yard. We ran out and found a big, custom-painted Harley Davidson motorcycle with two riders in black leather jackets and big black helmets with tinted visors that covered their faces. They had driven right up on our sidewalk, and the driver was revving the engine as high as possible. Finally, the rider on the back slid off, removed her helmet---and it was Lynne’s mother!

Here was my demure mother-in-law, and my hardworking father-in-law sitting on a motorcycle in the middle of my sidewalk! They had ridden over from Michigan to surprise us. I was shocked. I was speechless.
Finally Lynne said, “Relax, Bill. It’s no big deal. They do things like this all the time.”

For years I had been impressed with Lynne’s parents’ marriage. It was so obvious that after decades of marriage they were still madly in love with one another. Finally I learned the secret of their success: “They do things like this all the time.”

That was it. They had learned to have fun together, to break out of the routine, to be friends and lovers again. When you do that on a regular basis, it’s almost impossible for a marriage to go bad.

One of the major reasons for marital breakdown is plain old- fashioned boredom. A couple establishes, a routine---they do their work, handle family business, fulfill social obligations, watch TV---and before they know what’s happening their relationship goes stale.

Maybe they don’t scream and yell and fight. But neither do they enjoy the “ecstasies of marital bliss.” They talk now and then, but they’re certainly not soul mates. They go through the motions of sex, but even that’s more routine than it is romantic.How can we avoid that pattern? Here are four ideas:1. Lynne and I decided to begin by becoming religiously devoted to our weekly date. Every Thursday morning we go out for a long breakfast and “catch up” on one another’s lives.

We relate anecdotes about our week and discuss decisions or family plans we have to make. Sometimes we talk about books we’ve both read. Occasionally we spend the morning in the tunnel of chaos, working through conflicts that have risen since our last meeting. That’s not fun, but it keeps molehills from growing into mountains, and frees us to enjoy one another again.

If you were to ask either of us to name our favorite time of the week, we’d say Thursday morning. We need that time to pull ourselves out of our busy schedules, drop the responsibilities of work and family life, and just be Bill and Lynne, out on a date like we were twenty years ago.

Why a breakfast date instead of a candlelight dinner? We’re both morning people and want to give each other the best time of our day. If you’re night people, go for dinner. If you’re one of each, split the difference and go for high tea. What’s important is that you find a workable time and stick with it.2. We’ve made it a point to develop common fun interests. Though most people wouldn’t consider “running” a fun activity, we’ve found that it is when we do it together. Often when the weather’s nice we run together when I get home from work. We also enjoy nature and found a beautiful, secluded area not far from home where we can take long, quiet walks. When we’re in a more rambunctious mood, we ride trail bikes at a friend’s farm. In the summer we swim, windsurf, and pursue our favorite leisure activity---sailing.

Why is it so important to do things like this? Because when we’re having fun with one another we see each other in a new light. We recapture the feeling of youthfulness and vitality we had when we first met. We joke and laugh and break down inhibitions. We create an aura of warmth and love and closeness.3. We make frequent use of overnight getaways and vacations. Everything that is accomplished on a weekly date is multiplied during extended times away. For years Lynne and I were careless and sporadic about this. We were so busy with ministry and kids that it seemed impossible to get away.

But when we started seeing Christian leaders all around us shipwrecking their marriages, we decided we had to do something to keep that from happening. So we committed ourselves to taking periodic breaks for relaxation, refreshment, and fun.

Every time we return from a trip, whether we’ve been gone for two days or two weeks, we’re amazed anew at the progress we’ve made in our relationship and the closeness we feel.4. We’ve made a mutual commitment to make our sexual relationship everything it was meant to be. When we got married, we committed ourselves to sexual fidelity. We said, “All our sexual hopes and expectations we give to one another. We will never seek to satisfy them elsewhere.”

That means that if Lynne is ever going to be swept off her feet by a knight in shining armor, I’m going to have to do the sweeping. And if I’m ever going to have my sexual dreams come true, Lynne’s going to have to make them happen. We believe we owe it to one another to do everything we can to fulfill one another’s sexual needs.

In theory, of course, that sounds easy. In reality, it’s a tall order. At least it was for us.

The chronic over scheduling in the early years of our marriage, and the unresolved tensions that existed because we weren’t willing to face our tunnel of chaos, created hostility that made meaningful lovemaking impossible.

So our commitment to sexual satisfaction meant we had to go back to the beginning and work through the issues that had created the hostility. Only then were we free to experience and express genuine feelings of love.

We also had to learn that mutually satisfying sex doesn’t begin in the bedroom. It begins in the restaurant where we meet for breakfast, in the kitchen where we stop for a brief conversation before the kids come in for dinner, in the backyard where we sit in lawn chairs and talk over the day.

When men complain to me that their wives aren’t interested in their sexual relationship, I often ask what kind of communication patterns exist in their marriage. Do they enjoy meaningful conversations with their wives on a regular basis? There’s an undeniable tie between conversational intimacy and physical intimacy.

Another key to sexual fulfillment relates to the previous point in this chapter: learning the language of love. Someone who genuinely feels loved is much more enthusiastic about lovemaking than someone who doesn’t. For many people, sexuality is deeply tied to emotional and psychological realities.

Achieving mutually satisfying sex is no simple matter. But it’s worth all the time, effort, and creativity it demands. At one time sex was the greatest frustration in our marriage. Now it provides the greatest fun.

What is an authentic marriage? It’s a marriage where differences are seen as blessings. Where spouses really feel loved. And where routine gives way to conversation, fun, and romance.

For some people it seems like a far-off dream. But it’s not an impossible goal. Why not renew your commitment to building the kind of marriage God wants you to enjoy. (67-80)NOTES
1. Keirsey and Bates call this last category “Judging vs. Perceiving.” In choosing to call it “Structured vs. Unstructured,” I have undoubtedly over-simplified a very complex distinction. These terms, however, seemed to help my congregation grasp the essence of the authors’ meaning.

the Potter's Hand

There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary.They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups. Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked "May we see that? We've neverseen a cup quite so beautiful."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, "You don't understand. I have not always been a teacup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, 'Don't do that. I don't like it! Let me alone.' But he only smiled, and gently said; 'Not yet!'" "Then. WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly Iwas spun around and around and around. 'Stop it! I'm getting sodizzy! I'm going to be sick,' I screamed. But the master only noddedand said, quietly; 'Not yet.'"

He spun me and poked and prodded and bent me out of shape to suithimself and then… Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. Help! Get me outof here! I could see him through the opening and I could read his lipsas he shook his head from side to side, 'Not yet'."

"When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! Ah, this is much better, I thought. But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over. Thefumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Oh, please; Stop it, Stop it!' I cried. He only shook his head and said. 'Not yet!'."

"Then suddenly he put me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This w as twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. I wasconvinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just thenthe door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf,where I cooled and waited ------- and waited, wondering "What's hegoing to do to me next? An hour later he handed me a mirror and said'Look at yourself.'" "And I did. I said, 'That's not me; that couldn'tbe me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!'

Quietly he spoke: 'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone,you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first beganwith you."

The moral of this story is this: God knows what He's doing for each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us, and expose us to just enough pressures of just the rightkinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect will.

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinningout of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace oftrials; when life seems to "st ink", try this....

Brew a cup of your favorite tea in your prettiest teacup, sit down and think on this story and then, have a little talk with the Potter.

- Author Unknown

MY 30TH BIRTHDAY WISH

My little sister who celebrated her 12th birthday a month ago texted me her birthday wishes. Young as she is, she never wished anything for herself. She doesn't even want to have a celebration. Maybe she understands how her kuya(older brother) has been struggling to make ends meet. She had three wishes: 1. that the lot we're selling be paid already, 2. That our Pajun (father) will win in the barangay elections and 3. that there would be peace on earth. You can check my phone, I saved her message.

Sad to say that one of her wishes did not come true, the other wish will still be a long and tedious process and the world peace, I doubt if there will ever be.

I can't remember if I had similar wish when I was twelve. Maybe none for all I care is to be independent and alone, thinking and writing. In a not-so-distant past, I can recall that I made a promise to myself that by 30 I'm gonna be rich and stable. But things did not go my way. And now, few days before my birthday, I'm looking back and I just had one question in mind: WHY?

Maybe I started dreaming late and maybe I never anticipated the hindrances to come along OR let's put it this way, it wasn't for me.

For the first time in my years of writing, I'm telling you here what is in my heart and the real me. I used to hide myself in any of the characters in my story. Now it's only me and what's running in my mind and what's beating in my heart.

First I wanted to see Martian Child because I wanted to learn to say to someone "there's nothing you can do to change the way I feel for you..." Cool and everlasting. How I wish I was the John Cusack with a Martian child and the John Cusack of Serendipity.

Second, I want Jed Madela's Christmas album. I just listened to his version of "Sana Ngayong Pasko." For no specific reason, my Christmas tree won't be complete without his songs. What would my life be without the songs of Jed Madela? I might have not survived on one of those lonely broken-hearted nights without it. (I have the cd now. His version of My Grown Up Christmas List with Regine Velasquez is superb and perfect, very pleasant to hear.)

Third, I gotta have new jeans and shirts and rubber shoes. Jeans and shirts I bought months ago would no longer fit. I spent my depressing time eating. And shoes, that's my happiness.

I want a new house where I won't shut off the door to anyone, where I could watch a movie or go online or go to the bathroom anytime I want to. A house where I could tell you to come but you're always welcome. I want a house where I could have a goodnight sleep.

I want to be pre-occupied with my new business. Diverting my attention to a more fruitful endeavor than the crazy little thing called love.

I want to be promoted to a psychology-related work. I'll study visual arts and culinary. For all I wanted to see is what's beautiful and healthy.

I want to be with friends who know the difference from cavorting to splurging. Funny and cheapskate.

I want hair growth, I won't worry anymore.

I want braces in shiny white teeth.

All of that and so much more.

All my wish dressed by one true love that's happy, directed and without the boundaries of a lifetime.

Never had I dreamed of having several relationships. Just one but that never materialized. That after loving so much, it ends in the word "goodbye and take care of yourself." Then I love again and give up, then love again and give in...until I don't see myself loving again. They come, they go. Sometimes I never noticed. Sometimes, I never knew why. I tell them just go as if they never existed, as if they never came into my life. There's one love though, mundane and magical, that remains in my heart. Perennial, I wouldn't know if we'll ever be together again.

How I wish I'm just twelve years old, no worries about love lost in great expectations. But I can dream just as my little sister had. And in reality, I can only be the best Kuya this world could ever have. Another year will pass and my little sister will soon be taller than me. And all that's remembered is my good legacy of love. Love misconstrued. Life ephemeral.

Carrot, Egg, and Coffee

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

For we do not know the time and the place...

I wish I were writing under different circumstances.

I would like to inform you that my wife Leslie Cruz was part of the casualties in the Glorietta 2 Mall bombing in Makati City, Philippines. She was supposed to have a minor out patient surgery at Makati Medical Center at 230pm.

I had taken a leave from work to accompany her there. We dropped off our daughter, Amber, at my parents place in QC to babysit at around 10am. We then proceeded to Makati and was there at 1230pm. Since she had been fasting in preparation for her procedure, she wanted to move ar ound and listen to some music while I grabbed a bite to eat. We parked at the basement of Park Square 2, and headed for the Glorietta 2 entrance. We parted at the top of the escalator, she turned right towards Filbar's while I went left towards the restaurants. That was the last time I would see her.

Around 120pm, she had called me so that we can meet at the Glorietta 2 exit just in time to make her appointment. As I made my way there from Glorietta 1 through the connecting hallways, and was about to turn the corner, I heard 2 deep thumps and the shock-wave from the blast hit me. At that moment my heart dropped as I knew that the origin of the blast came from the same place where we were supposed to meet. I tried getting to where my wife was, but the dust was too much and it was as if I was staring at a white wall.

I still tried to convince myself that she was able to make it out, and that after ringing her mobile without a response only meant that she dropped it in theconfusion. After 6 hours of searching from Makati Med. to Ospital ng Makati, the blast site, and back again to MMC - with the help of all the people I could get hold of, that I was able to get confirmation in what the state of my wife was.

My Dad and Uncle signaled me in from the ER of MMC. My Uncle (who's a doctor) asked me to describe Leslie's appearance to another group of doctors. I saw in the eyes of one that the description made sense. Instead of confirming it to me, they huddled together, then brought me to a small examination room. It was only through a digital camera that I was able to confirm (and deny) that she was indeed gone.

I have so many regrets. I should have met her sooner. I should have ran instead of a brisk walk. I should have not chose to park where I did. I should have braved the dust and went in the blast site. I should have ...

Today's the 4th day. It is still terribly difficult to breathe, let alone wake up realizing that your source of strength, your best friend doesn't lie beside youon your bed. That my deepest worry is when Amber starts asking for her Mama.

I am glad that Amber's too young to understand the loss and pain. In time I would like to tell her the details of how her mother died, but more importantly I would like to raise her as how her mother lived - a loving person, strong willed, decisive, caring, and nurturing. She has always cared for her family andfriends, and sacrfied her career for being a full time mom and home maker.

As with all couples we had our ups and downs - none of which I regret not going through. The sweet is never as sweet without the sour. For almost 4 years of marriage, we've finally hit our balance in life only to be taken away in an instant. I have no regrets about our marriage. She has loved me and Amber beyond her capacity. I will always love her.

It is my first time to write to egroup as I've lurked and watched emails being sent to and from. All I want now is that for each of the couples here is to cherish each moment that we spend with our loved ones. Pretty simple to say, very easy to take for granted.

Thank you all for the prayers. I would still like to ask you to please include Leslie in them until her 40th day so that the path to God's kingdom is well lit and she is no longer in the dark.

Sincerely,

Carlo Cruz

WHAT'S UNWRITTEN ON BURNT BRIDGES?

I'm sleepy after I had few bottles of beer in my favorite sports bar when my friend arrived with a boyfriend (?) Being sleepy and the stupid type who wouldn't start a conversation, I just lean on the foundation while watching a billiards game. Then he said, magkwento ka naman (what's up?). I said I got nothing to say but I can listen. Then, it seems their just having an LQ. But amid the noise, I kept listening and can't sleep anymore. Addict, my friend said, I am.

What's interesting though about their argument is the thin line between words unsaid and the willingness to preserve friendship after goodbye. Had I known this issue before, I'd have given my friend a heads-up. As I see it, it's all about one saying goodbye while (as he said) they still have respect for one another and the other one trying to save the relationship. Both said they had the same purpose: for good-times-sake... It’s really hard to say goodbye without hurting the one you once loved and just as hard on how to keep someone from saying goodbye though he already wants to leave?

On my way home, I asked myself, what's unwritten on burnt bridges?

After hearing argument together and hearing one speak without the other, I can only remember buzzwords that they failed or preferred not to tell each other. And I felt like I have this task of interpreting moarse codes to an enemy.

In relationships we treasure, it’s very difficult giving up someone still so important to you. But as I explained in my previous article about gifts, the best gift we can give to someone we love is what we have and what that someone needs at the moment. We can’t give what we don’t have and they won’t appreciate the gift if it’s not what they need. It’s really a sacrifice when you deeply fall in-love. Part of it is giving in to what your partner wants. If he wants to go, let him go. He will comeback anyway if he’s really yours OR no one can take him away from you, in the first place, if he’s really the one for you.

However, before you say goodbye, let’s not forget the task of de-escalating. That is the sincere saying of “I love you and I can’t let you go.” And if he still wants to leave, set him free for it would do no good anymore to hold on. For sure in the end, you’re not the fool wondering what might have been. In this manner, you’ve done your part and you did everything….

I’ve had relationships that are lost but we never said goodbye. I never knew why. As such, I can only ask myself, why did it happen? Maybe, things like this happen because your partner thinks you can’t take the word goodbye. Maybe your partner thinks you can’t accept comments, criticisms or even ostracisms. Or maybe the relationship is never meant to last or not meant to happen in the first place.

I’ve reached a point of realization that I own nothing in this world. Everything will pass. And the only thing I can control is I, myself and me, the rest, let them lead their lives too. Unless they ask your opinion then share your best practices. Besides, let us learn to enjoy life just watching the view without owning it. Let’s enjoy that they look good but they don’t belong to us….

In my work this time, I’m being coached for customer experience. The coach repeatedly explained that I’m not a bad agent and not that my customers are dissatisfied. She said, it’s an opportunity to learn. I smiled and told her however which way, it is okay. I told her that I heard worst than that. You can tell anything in front of my face and I would do nothing to you. I would just listen. My heart won’t bleed. My eyes won’t cry. I won’t be hurt because I know who I am. We have our own opinion and I can’t control how you see things. But I can take all you said as a suggestion and if applicable, I’ll integrate in my life.

I just could imagine what a wonderful world it would be if anyone can say: you smell bad then cleanse yourself, you’re not presentable then be presentable, I don’t love you anymore then say I love you goodbye.

The task of burning bridges between former lovers is not yours neither it is mine. But the task of writing what needs to be burned is within our scope. That’s why when you’re still in-love with each other or if you still have time with one another, take that opportunity of wholeheartedly knowing each other. When the time comes that you need to say goodbye, you should know how to break heart gently. But if you tell me you can’t gauge when to say goodbye that means say goodbye now or all will be a wasted time. Because with that said, you don’t deserve the love of the other.

It doesn’t take several relationships to learn the art of letting go. It doesn’t take experiences to finally find the right ingredients for a match-made-in-heaven relationship because love is not an experiment where one is constant and the rest can be variable. Love must be treated as a case to case basis. What works for your past relationship will certainly not work for the present.

It’s true that it takes courage and a very open mind to understand goodbye-speech that says it all. And if you want to let your partner read your mind, make sure that you’ve shown him/her the very part of you.

There will also be instances when saying goodbye is reminding your partner that you’re fading much too fast which means there’s still the chance of reconciliation if you do something. In whatever way goodbye is shown, make sure you understand the clue.

The task of befriending your ex will be a distant possibility if you don’t know when to say goodbye.

What’s not written on burnt bridges will remain in the heart and will be a residue that will keep taunting your mind because all that you’d have are words left unsaid before goodbye.

THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL

Dec 24. Afternoon. Everyone is rushing in-line for gifts and food for Noche Buena. I’m one of them. The only difference is that I’m not spending Christmas with my family. This time I’ll be celebrating Christmas with someone I truly love.

After having all the things I needed. I’m on my way ahead to Cubao train station. It’s another long queue purchasing ticket and another queue for security guard’s check. I have several plastics carried and hurriedly went away.

On the train, properly seated, I realized I'm missing the gift.

Next to Cubao station is GMA-Kamuning station. I went out of the train and talk to the cashier if there’s a way I can check if I left the gift in previous station. And this is my common mistake, I forgot her name. Nice as she is, she allowed me to get to the train back to Cubao and talk to a supervisor who happens to hold the gift I actually dropped while some of my packages are being checked by security guards….. What a relief! Not that I can’t afford to lose anything, gift or whatever. Just that it’s a gift that’s long been requested. I just could imagine how that someone who’d receive the gift would be so happy to have it.

Christmas is fast approaching, as they say, a time to give and a time to share.

On that night before Christmas day, I had several gifts to give. Some were surprised of what I had for them; some appreciated much what I gave them and some just don’t care. And on that day, that was the sign I was looking for….

I am never thoughtful. I seldom give gifts. I seldom give gifts especially wrapped in packages. Never had I done that for my family. So on that day, I had a clear idea of what a gift should be.

Some appreciates what I gave them because they still need it, they still want it. Some may be surprised because they don’t expect, they may want it or they may not even need it. And for those who don’t care, I believe they may want it or they may even need it but for now, right now they don’t want and need it either.

So I decided to go home. This time I’m on a bus. I dropped off in Cubao and started walking alongside the Araneta Center. Suddenly, I hear fireworks. I looked up the sky, I see a celebration. It’s Christmas and there I was, walking alone on Christmas Day. Then, my heart started to cry. My heart made a promise – never will I have a lonely Christmas in my life, never will I be alone on Christmas Eve…..

Christmas is fast approaching once again. And I’ll be celebrating more Christmas in my lifetime.... I’ll be sharing my life and I’ll be giving gifts.

Maybe I’ve been stupid in my life so I celebrated Christmas alone. Bad as it seems, I’m redefining selfless love which to me is giving what would make others happy more than my own. I would let go but not give up. I’ll give in to the truth that I may have failed several times but it won’t mean I won’t be able to find again. And when I have that someone meant for me, I’ll know because no one can take it away from me.

And my gift, I’d be giving it to anyone who needs it. I’ll give love when anyone needs one. And if they no longer need my gift, I won’t be giving it also.

Now on, don’t give me love when I don’t need love anymore. Don't give me time when I don't need your time anymore. For what good it will bring when I've had my time and learned to live my life again.

Give me Mr Chips when I need one or maybe curly tops when I want one. That would be the greatest gift I could consider. That would be your greatest gift, an act of love at the right time that I will truly appreciate.

Christmas is fast approaching again and again and I need to go home. I went home the other day and I bought a lighting beyblade toy for my favorite niece. I taught her how it works. She was able to do it the first time and twisted it much the second time and it broke.

She cried blaming herself that maybe she doesn't know how to play. And I being the spoiling uncle, told her that we'll just buy a new one. My father, being the fixing father-figure to her, got a glue to put it all back again. My brother, being the man of wisdom, explained that that's how toys are made. But I think none of us convinced. She found a paper pencil case and put the beyblade on the other end. She searched for a plastic tape and fixed it on the pencil case. A flashlight, she said, she'd be using during brownouts.

That's the gift in the eyes of a child. A greatest gift, a precious one, turned into a more useful tool. But in my eyes, just make me smile, I can afford the rest. And what makes me smile, just chips and chocolates filled with a heartfelt laughter that when rolled gives me goodnight sleep. That's all I need.