Sunday, February 1, 2009

LIFE LIVED LIKE A MOVIE


“Dream sequence”

Every movie has a dream sequence disclosed before it ends in the minds of the viewers.

They say that art has a life of its own and so does my writing. An introvert, enigmatic and observant like me plays around with reality and what have you.

If my life is a movie, I’d be the John Cusack of America’s Sweetheart who falls for Kiki who says, why not?

But my life is not a movie. I won’t say “Grow up” if John says “Grow up.” I can only say, I’ll never, ever, ever, ever, ever give you up the way he did in “Martian Child.”

Maybe I just got used to living a life in hell. I miss my hell that though I drown myself to work, when my body needs rest, my heart finds a way to remind me that after all I only love someone so much in my life.

I’m on my way home when a friend texted me good night. I replied no, I’m still working keeping myself busy, busy ‘til I won’t notice that Valentine’s over.

She said, I have nothing to lose if I don’t have my Valentine.

I said, I’d lose the smile in my heart.

She said, it’s all in the mind.

I told her, it’s in my heart. How I wish there’s no Valentine’s to celebrate. Why is it that my heart keeps hurting though I’ve been hurt many times?

She said, move on.

I didn’t reply again.

I ask myself, can we be immune to pain? If I lost count of the hurts, broken hearts and failed relationships, will I be moving on from one relationship to another as if it’s the normal thing to do?

Absolutely not and may God forbid, not in my life.

If my life has a dream sequence and God knows the ending and the readers as the viewers, how’d you want my love story ending?

I can just move on and love again. I can just fill my mind with all the bad times when we’re still together. I can just fill my day with millions and tons of work but I can never heal my heart. My heart is strong but when inflicted with pain is irreversible.

I’ve loved so much that it overflows in tears.

Should I hold back my tears, should it freeze or run out?

Should we start again?

Should you know the ending?

Should you be the love I’m going to lose in eternity?

Should you realize to love me again…….. I’m here.

I never stopped believing that I’m going to love only one for real and I’m going to wake up that life indeed is a reality faced, not given up and never letting go.

Then you’ll know why my heart is strong for pain, why we celebrate valentines and why life lived like a movie ends only the way you choose to follow the dream sequence.

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