Friday, September 14, 2007

square testicles

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square."

The president started to laugh and told t he woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"

"Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square."

"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness." "No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied,"Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!"

The origin of this Canadian story is unknown but it brings luck to everyone.

Monday, September 10, 2007

A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another one

A long time ago in China , a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly. Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it! Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."

Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you, when she dies, you must be very careful to actively friendly towards her. "Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves others will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in another person's life through you.

BEAUTY OF MATH

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this...

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

Friday, September 7, 2007

That's Life

God created the donkey and said to him:

'You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years.'
The donkey answered: 'I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years'God granted his wish.
........................................................................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God created the dog and said to him:

'You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.You will be a dog. '
The dog answered: 'Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years. God granted his wish.
.......................................................................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God created the monkey and said to him:

'You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. '
The monkey answered: 'To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years.' God granted his wish.
........................................................................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally God created man ... and said to him:

'You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years.'

Man responded: 'Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused.' God granted man's wish

And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, marries and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back.
Then when his children are grown, he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him,so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
That's Life. The life of the only RATIONALCREATURE on Earth !!
Is'nt it ?????????? HURRAH !!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

WORLD'S LIE: I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY

The tragedy of love is in getting hurt. The tragedy of happiness is in not wanting to be happy again. The tragedy of getting hurt is in doing what you don't want to do. And if that's what happening, listen to your heart, for sure you're hoping for someone to lift you up and lead you back to your good life again....

For the past few months, I always find myself drowned to sleep. I got used to it, drinking to sleep, meeting a lot, enjoying a lot and losing a lot of money. I guess I succumb to what most people say, I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!

When everything else fails, we tell ourselves, I deserve to be happy.

August 25, 2007, I read an article from Our Daily Bread which says, "....she grew up lukewarm in her faith and thus believed the world's lie: I deserve to be happy."

Basically the story tells us to love someone you love and to respect someone who loves you. The writer gave suggestions on creating hedges for relationship so you won't look for greener grass.

But instead of following the suggestion, I tried to deviate and maximized my staying power for night outs. Anyway, it was my rest day from work, I deserve to have a break and unwind. I found myself watching a movie of my favorite John Cusack. The movie showed reality and dreams and the bridge in between. It is really a good feeling to see someone you like doing what he does best. That's my first trip.

After the movie, my second leg, bottles of beer. Some friends arrive to play billiards. I stayed seated with my beer watching a songbird alter-ego. Then another group of friends came. Indeed, all we need in life are few good friends and few good beers....

After the show, gotta move on to another bar. I gotta hit the dance floor. Shout, scream, sing-along and keep dancing. During breaks, keep drinking.

Then, it's morning. I'm tired. I gotta eat before going to my bed. Yup, I'm going not to a home, just to my bed and I have everything in it.

I reached my bed and checked my money, I still have it; checked the clock, its 5am and checked my phone, and it’s still the same. Next thing I knew, I'm awake after a 3-hour sleep. And do I feel the same thing? Absolutely not.

I woke up feeling not happy anymore. I still have the same longing. I feel so empty. How I wished few good people would tell me to stop. How I wished few good people would inspire me to stop. And where can I find these few good people? I don't know. Gone maybe. I, myself, am losing the good person in me.

While I still have few good things in my mind, I'm writing so someday I would recall the same feeling when all I did was to have fun, when all I did was plan for what I'm gonna do for the summer, for the breaks. Someday I would recall, I had this much but I lost it all. Just one good question in my mind, on that someday, where would I be?

It's nice to see people enjoying life - one day at a time or even as planned. It's nice to see people with a smile on their face. It's nicer to see people say thank you and well done.

Sometimes, we look at life only at how we can survive each day. We forget to look at how we live and how can we be remembered.

Tonight, I'm out again. But as a person who never stopped believing in the goodness of every man, I hope to see a few good men who'll tell me to stop. Or I hope to see the good man in me who'll say, the pain is over and life may not be as I planned. By then, God will say: you deserve to be happy now.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

INSPIRING MESSAGE FROM MY BESTFRIEND-SUPERVISOR

Working in a technology-oriented call center, i received this message from my bestfriend-supervisor after i asked several questions regarding an issue I am not familiar with. Funny though I never reacted because during this last few days that he'll be our resolution specialist, this ain't a good legacy. Honestly, I find myself guilty why he'll be leaving us. I gave a not-so-good assesment of him then. But for now, I'm inclined to believe that I'm right. Without his permission, here's his message:

Team,

A common dilemma for a technical support agent is lack of available resources to promptly provide answers to clients.

Enhance your skills in finding answers on all possible channels like stock knowledge, internal knowledge bases and of course the Internet. Learn to research, strive to search for solutions, be independent and you'll appreciate the pains you experience today in the future.

Be excited when go to work, thinking that it's another chance to learn new things. After a hard day's work, give yourself a tap on the back and look at it as another successful day.

Look far onto the horizon, you're here today, dream of what you want to be in the future within the company you chose to work for.

Enjoy your work!

______________________________________

Pajarito, Percival G.

Resolution Specialist

My teammates reacted such as:
Are you the modern day yoda?
May the force be with you.
Pers pwede paki tagalog? (Pers, please translate to tagalog?)

And he replied:
In Tagalog:

“HUWAG NA KAYONG MAGTANONG!!!” (DON'T ASK ANYMORE!!!)

hehehe

The "hehehe" would mean it's just a joke or maybe he realized what he said.

But let me clarify, I do agree when he said "be independent...." We're supposed to be independent, no question about it. And if we become better technicians in the future or if I become better technician in the future, I would always remember Percy as I tap my back and say, another successful day for me.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

HOW DO YOU HEAL A BROKEN HEART?

Performed by: Chris Walker
I can’t believe what i just heard
Could it be true?
Are you the girl I thought I knew
The one who promised me her love
Where did it go?
Does anybody ever know?

How do you heal a broken heart?
That feels like it will never beat this much again
I just can’t let go
How do you heal a broken heart?
That feels like it will never love this much again
Tonight I’ll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I’ll pretend to let you go

And were you ever what you seemed
Or was I a fool who fell in love
With his own dream
And now you say you want to leave
Start a new life today
Those words I thought you’d never say
Tonight I’ll hold what could be right
Tomorrow I’ll pretend to
Wake and put it all behind me
And find that I have finally found
A new life, in my soul
And find that I know how to let you go

AN OPEN ADVICE ABOUT CAREER DECISIONS:

Several of my staff has approached me lately about their career
decisions. I really appreciate my staff opening up to me. It is quite
reassuring to know that they're still having second thoughts about
leaving. Here is part of the email I sent to a "confused" staff:


I have worked for more than 5 companies already so I guess you might be
correct in saying I have had considerable experience about leaving and
moving on. I will not stop you nor tell you to leave, though of course it
will be better if you stay. In any career decision, leaving or staying I
believe, based from my personal experiences and as an HR professional,
should only be done for the right reasons.


For one, you shouldn't leave because you don't like several people in the
company, nor should you stay because of the friends you have made here. At
the end of the day, it is your life. Your friends or "enemies" should not
make or break your career. If you let them be the deciding factor, then
maybe you should think twice. You are the craftsman of your fate and the
captain of your ship. Captain Hook shouldn't be one of your worries!


Do not leave nor stay because of the "brand" of your company. If that was
the case, I would have rushed off and sign my JO in "C"! Ask yourself
whether you want to be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a
bigger pond. Know your priorities. Only you can answer that.


Do not leave the company because you're so damn frustrated about the way
things are being run, or stay because you have this "messianic complex"
that you can change things overnight. Be realistic about the things. Learn
to accept that there is no perfect company. Be accepting that change is a
slow and painful process at times and be thankful that you realize and
act on things that can be changed and improved. Definitely, do not leave
or stay just because your parents want you to. I know I am advocating
obedience to parents but again, we are talking about YOUR career. But
learn to value their wisdom and discern well.


Money isn't everything. The package being offered now might be better but
look at the long-term prospects. Do not leave or stay just solely on the
compensation package. Look for growth prospects and review their career
plans for you. Your immediate gains today might actually be a loss a few
years from now if you do the Math.


Boredom is another challenge all professionals are faced with during lull
periods in their career. Do not leave because you have become so bored
with your job. Do not stay either because you want things as they are.
Change is inevitable in any organization. Talk to your boss. Ask for more
responsibilities or other tasks if you're bored. Enroll in a special
course. If you're satisfied with the status quo and is just waiting for
retirement hoping things will stay the same, you're in for a big
disappointment - either you will be forced to change or you will be forced
to leave. Be ready before that time comes. Boredom or complacency is
perennial battle most professionals have to deal with. Arm yourself with
creativity everyday!


Tonight I suggest you rest well. Sit still and listen to what He is
saying. PRAY. I have always made my career decisions through His guidance.
He was and still is my Career Adviser/Talent Manager. Your work, our work,
is a vocation. He knows us more than we know ourselves so trust Him for
whatever plans He has for you. You can never go wrong.


Trust me it works!!!!

And remember: Use your head to get to the top. But use your heart to stay.