If I never sing another song (My idea about finding your passion)

If I never sing another song, would it be good?

My childhood days were filled with memories of me singing in front of different visitors. I would sing most of the time and recite poems in some instances. Any occasion for that matter, my Grandma or my father would ask me to sing a song or songs for the visitors.  Visitors would, at times, give me money for the performance.  I can’t remember where I spent that money. Haha!

One day, I just realized, I would not want to sing anymore. Not in front of visitors, not in singing contests (Yes, I did), not in schools.  The last one I can recall was in high school where after a meeting, our teacher, Ma’am Delia, called me to sing - impromptu, acapella. I refused but she asked the audience/fellow students and teachers for another round of applause. And there I was singing, there’d be no sunshine in my life until you say you’re mine, oh mine. Rain.

That day on, I’d hide whenever there are gatherings at home or in school.  Even on my birthday, I’d go out or sleep or go home late just so everyone has left when I get home.

But I never stopped loving music.

I worked abroad and I’d sing on karaoke/videoke. I get challenged whenever my close friend would voluntarily sing his heart out even though he’s out of tune. I was like, ako na lang. (I’d rather.)

I had formal voice lessons when I was studying. I never told anyone in school about it. Until one day, my friend Gina said that she saw me on TV. And I can only say yes, that’s me.

After working abroad, I went home to the province. Stayed there for years. And finally decided to work back in Manila. I applied for whatever job available in a recording company.  But I just wanted to sing even in a multiplex or in hotel lounges.  I never really wanted an office work.  For some twist of fate, I was not hired in several recording companies I applied to and I ended up in, guess what, an office job.

So, I thought maybe, it’s not for me. 

I tried enrolling again in a music class but my office sched would not allow me to do so.  Years and years passed, I just kept working and did not sing another song. Even at home, I never did. Occasionally, I’d hum and vocalize in my lowest voice, but I would never sing.

Until now, I still don’t know why I stopped singing. My wide vocal range shrunk to an octave or a little higher at special times.

One day, I met a friend. A very close friend whose name is Mishie.  She kept telling me stories about God and her faith.  In one of our conversations without telling her about my singing, she told me that God takes away a talent that we do not share. This is not her exact words, but she further explains that God would help us with our talent if we share it and use it to His glory.

This happened years ago.  She told me many stories, I can still recall them.  But this one is something that kept ringing in my mind.

A few months before my 42^nd birthday, I messaged Froilan, a fellow Bicolano as asked about voice lessons. And I also tried recording few songs via Smule app.  I posted them on FB and YT which got me encouraged to sing more. I got messages and feedback that I should continue singing.

Maybe before, I just did not have the right purpose in mind on why I should sing.

Singing is my passion and if I can earn using this passion, I would not have to work for the rest of my life.

But how do I get there, I should continue to earn with my present job, so I must go back to work.