TAO LANG! NAGKAKAMALI DIN!

Kahit gano karami pera mo, kahit saan ka pa mag-kape, a JOLOGS is always a JOLOGS...

1. Melanie Marquez, during her guesting at The Buzz: I have a film with Alec BALDWIN, and DIRECTOR by Romy Suzara... (it's BOVICK, Melanie, bigatin ka na pala at Hollywood star na ang co-star mo, and yes, it's Supposed to be DIRECTED BY..)

2. Katya Santos, on the controversial Viva Hot Babes VCD: Eighteen year old ABOVE and PATAAS lang ang pwedeng makabili nitong VCD. (So kung 17 below and pababa, hindi pwede, di ba?)

3. Heart Evangelista, reading a letter request at Myx: Dear Heart, I'd like to request the song blah blah... Of course, we will grant your request. You know, everything is possible... WITH GOD!

4. Boy Abunda, interviewing "Ssshhh...She Walks By Night" star Belinda
Bright: Belinda, what is this movie about? Belinda: It's actually a Film Mwah! Boy: Pardon me?
Belinda: A Film Mwah, we consider it a film, not a movie. Boy: Ano ulit yun, iha? Belinda: A Film.. mmm.. it's an Art Film. (Film Noir, Belinda, and to think you are Bright!)

5. eto pa, iniinterview ni Master Showman yung 98 degrees, tsk tsk.. nde na
nahiya: Kuya Germs: So what can you say about the Filipinas? Someone from
98 degrees: Ah, they're all pretty. Really lovely and kind. Kuya Germs:
Well, have you made love to a Filipina?

6. DESSA AFTER SINGING A SPOT NUMBER IN A REGINE VELASQUEZ CONCERT. DESSA APPARENTLY SANG A VERY VOCALLY CHALLENGING SONG AND AS EXPECTED, ENDED iT WITH A THROAT BREAKING NOTE. REGINE ENTERS. DESSA : O kala mo ikaw lang ang mataas ang boses.Kaya mo yun? REGINE : Eh ano ngayon, maganda ka ba?

7. Kuya Germs: Salamat at pinaunlakan mo kami Juday. Dahil dyan, may ibibigay kami sa iyo courtesy of video city. Ito ay...aircon?! Aircon!
Juday: (luwal ang mga mata) Talaga?! Salamat po. Kuya Germs: Ay...Con Air pala. Isang vhs tape ng Con Air.

8. Kris Aquino: i heard sa france based ang father mo ngayon? Danilo
Barrios: hindi po. sa paris. Kris Aquino: so you're a vegetarian? Danilo
Barrios: opo. kumakain din ako ng meat.

9. Vina Morales, announcing the winner/s of ASAP's Clash Dance: It's a tie-breaker!

10. As a consolation, it's not only the Pinoy celebrities who are having a hard time communicating themselves in English. Even the supposedly "native English speakers" commit errors. Sample: Mariah Carey: Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry.
I mean ... I'd love to be skinny like
that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks: We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign: Smoking kills. If you are killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

11. Host: What is your favorite feature? Calendar Girl: My favorite feature is my graduation feature! (Todo explain pa siya na kesyo maganda daw siya dun kasi naka-makeup siya...)

12. eto, isa sa peyborit quotes ko mula sa napanood kong Grand Finals ng She's Got the Look dati sa Eat Bulaga: Vic: Contestant Number ---, eto yung question mo: "What is your guiding principle in life?" Contestant: Hmm..
guiding principle? Vic: Oo, guiding principle, kumabaga motto, something na pinaniniwalaan mo. Contestant: Hmm .. (halatang tensed na).. guiding principle.. my guiding principle is.. hmm.. ahh.. ahh.. Vic (grand finals kaya ayaw niya mamahiya): Para siyang motto.. like "Time is Go.." (sabay putol nung contestant) Contestant: Ahh.. my guiding principle in life is "Time is Gold. Thank you!"

13. ito, nung Bb. Pilipinas host: how did you develop your love for horseback riding? contestant: when I first went to Tagaytay, I ride a horse and the horse thrilled me!
(hmmmm... bakit parang iba meaning?)

14. Host: You're doing well as a singer in clubs. What's your next ambition? Guest: Gusto ko pong magkaroon ng recording album! (Recording na, album pa?)

15. Host: What don't you like about (name of starlet) ba? Guest: She's too reactionary! Host: What do you mean? Guest: React siya ng react!

16. Host: "Ano ba ang pinaka-favorite mong movie lately, Melanie?" Melanie
Marquez: "Maganda yung kay Emma Thompson at Kate Winslet, yung "Simple and Simplicity".

17. anyway, si melanie marquez pa rin habang iniinterview ni boy abunda:
boy: melanie, anung masasabi mo sa mga lumalabas na tsismis na hindi ka lang daw drug addict, drug pusher ka pa? melanie: they are all liars!
tingnan nyo nga ako, ang payat-payat ko, i am a model! (tsk tsk.. mukha ka ngang high! )

18. angela velez announcing the famas winner.. Angela: And the Famas Goes through...

alecx bovic's reaction sa mga di makapaniwala sa pagkabest actress nya..
alecx: di ko na po papansinin yung mga negatives puro positives na lang po..

19. host: ano sa mukha mo ang pinaka-asset mo? mr. pogi contestant: sa tingin ko ang pinaka-asset ko sa mukha ko ay ugali! Mabait kasi ako! (mwerk ano raw?!)

20. dati ko pa ito napanood sa eat bulaga, sa feeling pogi yata: tinanong yung guy kung anong gift nya sa girl na gusto nya, ang sagot nya ay 'top toy' (stuffed toy), tawa ng tawa si gladys kaya pinaulit yung sagot, 'top toy' pa rin ang sabi nung guy, as in parang wala syang clue na mali sya