BASILICO BISTRO (Finest@33)

In my college years, one professor asked about rich people. I can’t remember the exact incident but one classmate said that I’m. The professor asked if it’s me or my father, they don’t know. But the answer isn’t me or my father, it’s my grandma.

After a decade of working here and abroad, can I now say I’m rich? No, not financially. But I’m very rich when it comes to lessons in life. Do the lessons of life make me rich? Now the answer is relative.

Today is my Manay Rose’s last day. Last year she and her daughter still celebrated the birthday with me. I never knew and who knew that it would be the last time I’m going to her again. But have I spent my life worth with such a very good friend and sister-like to me? My answer is still no.

I remember in my 3rd grade when they, with her mom and brother transferred to our house. I was asked until when they will stay with us I said they will be until we get old. She went to the same school where I go. She excelled in sports. I can’t remember any instance that we fought over anything. She’s always my spoiler. I had my tooth extracted then and I told her that I don’t want to say anything; she reads what I wanted to say to anyone. She listens to my stories; she knows my very first crush. She never questions; she never asks; she just follows as if it’s her role in life to just follow.

I left for abroad but I never knew what happened to her. I went home and she was no longer there. She may have done not so good things to my family and to my grandma, but my heart was so forgiving that she shouldn’t suffer and that we give all the understanding and forgiveness we can give her. She never came back for such a long time. I thought that was the best thing for all until I see her came back last year with her daughter and I never saw her again, never will in this lifetime. I miss my Manay Rose.

People come and go and I know I only have very few closest to my heart, she’s one of those that makes me cry when they go.

Maybe I’ll see her in her little daughter who will also be with me when I grew old. Maybe she will also read what I want to say if it’s already hard for me to speak. Maybe she will also be someone that I dreamt my Manay Rose would have been.

I thought of this article and this title many years ago. I want it to speak my idea about achieving goals. And what have I achieved so far….

Last time I wrote about losing gracefully but this time I passed but never felt so frustrated. Maybe God made me feel the loss then that I am a lot stronger when failure after success happens.

I celebrated my birthday days ago with a goal in mind that I will be finest this year. Days before I went home for my birthday, I signed my written warning for over-breaks.

But that didn’t stop me from having a happy birthday. I received so many birthday greetings days before and days after and weeks after. I am so thankful and grateful especially to the one who traveled across the globe and greeted me after. That’s sweet.

I did not receive any physical gifts. I had many virtual gifts. But as part of my goals, I gave as many gifts I can afford to those who make my life living with a purpose.

Those gifts I don’t expect anything in return.

There’s one gift though which I is strangest of them all. I didn’t wrap it. How could I wrap what I know? It never was my intention but the wish I’m granting is making my wish come true as well... That seals my birthday, my finest birthday so far.

We meet a lot. We let go some but some are things I don’t want to wait forever so tonight I’m taking my chances and will roll it with my choice.

I believe in the power of prayers. I know there’s something that can make things come true. It may take the alignment of planets and constellations. It’s when you want something then you pray for it. You can get it. It’s true.

Days ago, the amount left in my pocket would not suffice ‘til next payday. So I prayed, I heard a voice telling me to give all to church. But I did not do so because there’s no assurance that I can have something in place of it only to find that that night, I will be getting my refund.

But when you have nothing, you expect nothing.

Have you ever felt you’re not worth what you deserve?

No reservations.

You can’t regret what you didn’t work hard to achieve.

Some of my wishes are too easy to reach like my search for Som’s Noodle House but some of my wishes will be granted in another lifetime for some reason...
Now I only have one parameter, help me build my Basilico Bistro and I’m yours forever. That’s my idea of true love.

I will end this with what Bro said to Santino: Habang patuloy mong inaalala ang isang yumao, habang buhay sa puso mo ang pagmamahal sa kanya, hindi sya totoong namamatay dahil mananatili syang buhay sa iyong puso.

CANDID (When Honesty Becomes Brutally Frank)

What if you only have two months left to be with someone you love all your life? You have two options, one is to spend all the time together and make the most of it or leave like you never met.

As I believe in the saying, I won’t be a fool wondering what might have been. I’d be out, express all of my love because I may be losing someone but at least I have shown my love the best way I can. It’s hurtful this way but I’ll be prepared and I’ll be thinking forward.

They say that meeting someone is for you to learn something from that someone. True indeed, as I look back on the previous ideas I’ve written, there was this story about the reindeer potion in which I promised. That same person I meet again.

Two months is what I’m giving myself then let go. Two months then I’ll quit, I’ll stop waiting and move on.

My psychologist friend, Lij said that I’m hypochondriac when I said that I feel I’m wounded all over my body if I have one in my finger. I feel wrecked when I miss something.

I had this chat with a high school friend Kates who even requested permission if she can ask a very personal question. I was hesitant to let her but I said, shoot. Not that I’m afraid of some questions but I’m just uncomfortable because we hadn’t had a talk for quite a time now. It’s been about ten years since we send snail mails to each other. But her question was very simple, do I love myself?

I said no. She said that if I can honestly say yes, I’m on the go.

Have I not loved myself enough? I haven’t.

Kates, who is now happily married in Africa, shared a wonderful story about life. In her lowest time, all she can do is go out and appreciate the sky and the flowers. I ask why she said it means everything has a purpose and reason.

So it thought of my purpose. All I can remember is my mother telling me what it is that I do for our family. That sense of purpose I forget whenever I stay long enough away from them.

I also had a conversation with another friend Robi whom I met years back. He’s also living alone but was successful in putting up his own events business. He gave me an award for Top Quality on Entrepreneurship. Our conversation revolved around living alone, surviving alone and what matters most, family.

I remember watching Wowowee, a foreigner husband of a contestant said: Every day I wake up; you make me become a better person. He was differently-abled. To which the Filipina wife just replied: Ik hou van ghou. My heart cried because that was the same language of love for me years ago. I texted my very good friend, Marly about it. She replied that I should find someone to tell me love in another language. I said I want the same old feeling, she didn’t answer. One thing I know she wants me moving on.

I believe I need a new language of love because I had been reserving my love since the reindeer potion promise but I never felt the importance of that love anymore.

Maybe one day you woke up and realized that you’re out of love, maybe I was just too candid or maybe I was just not worth loving.

Robi was telling me his realizations in life as we talk. I ask why he shies away from commitment, had he not been in love before? He said he does but just come to a point when he was sick and there was no one to depend on except his self and his family. Robi though very outgoing never seems to fail his religious devotion. He prays for his success, he prays to be happy. He is now. And he thanks me for a heartfelt laugh about my stories every time we meet. I’m really a funny and clown person for true friends.

When I further ask on his short-lived commitment, he said he may have had someone for display but inside he isn’t happy that he’s slowly getting away from what he has been working hard for which is his career and his mother.

So it’s really a choice. Some may choose to leave someone to better themselves. But here I am who thinks otherwise.

I’m sick because I think I can’t be successful on something if I’m missing a part needed to be successful as if I still have a cut in my finger. Here I am who can give up things for someone I truly love but I’m living alone. After watching Hannah Montana 2, I found the reason why it’s a climb. A state of heart is a climb.

When can honesty become brutally frank, when it hurts the person listening to your candidness?

I know I missed my reindeer potion chance for one true love. So if true love comes only once in a lifetime, it will never come in this life. But as Kates said, I should love myself even more. Marly said love in another language. Lij said I can’t be sick. Robi said what matters most. And I say I can be whole.

As they say, learning to love your self is the greatest love of all. Now I know why I was asked to sing that song over and over when I was a kid…. See, even simple things happen for a reason.