Dec 24. Afternoon. Everyone is rushing in-line for gifts and food for Noche Buena. I’m one of them. The only difference is that I’m not spending Christmas with my family. This time I’ll be celebrating Christmas with someone I truly love.
After having all the things I needed. I’m on my way ahead to Cubao train station. It’s another long queue purchasing ticket and another queue for security guard’s check. I have several plastics carried and hurriedly went away.
On the train, properly seated, I realized I'm missing the gift.
Next to Cubao station is GMA-Kamuning station. I went out of the train and talk to the cashier if there’s a way I can check if I left the gift in previous station. And this is my common mistake, I forgot her name. Nice as she is, she allowed me to get to the train back to Cubao and talk to a supervisor who happens to hold the gift I actually dropped while some of my packages are being checked by security guards….. What a relief! Not that I can’t afford to lose anything, gift or whatever. Just that it’s a gift that’s long been requested. I just could imagine how that someone who’d receive the gift would be so happy to have it.
Christmas is fast approaching, as they say, a time to give and a time to share.
On that night before Christmas day, I had several gifts to give. Some were surprised of what I had for them; some appreciated much what I gave them and some just don’t care. And on that day, that was the sign I was looking for….
I am never thoughtful. I seldom give gifts. I seldom give gifts especially wrapped in packages. Never had I done that for my family. So on that day, I had a clear idea of what a gift should be.
Some appreciates what I gave them because they still need it, they still want it. Some may be surprised because they don’t expect, they may want it or they may not even need it. And for those who don’t care, I believe they may want it or they may even need it but for now, right now they don’t want and need it either.
So I decided to go home. This time I’m on a bus. I dropped off in Cubao and started walking alongside the Araneta Center. Suddenly, I hear fireworks. I looked up the sky, I see a celebration. It’s Christmas and there I was, walking alone on Christmas Day. Then, my heart started to cry. My heart made a promise – never will I have a lonely Christmas in my life, never will I be alone on Christmas Eve…..
Christmas is fast approaching once again. And I’ll be celebrating more Christmas in my lifetime.... I’ll be sharing my life and I’ll be giving gifts.
Maybe I’ve been stupid in my life so I celebrated Christmas alone. Bad as it seems, I’m redefining selfless love which to me is giving what would make others happy more than my own. I would let go but not give up. I’ll give in to the truth that I may have failed several times but it won’t mean I won’t be able to find again. And when I have that someone meant for me, I’ll know because no one can take it away from me.
And my gift, I’d be giving it to anyone who needs it. I’ll give love when anyone needs one. And if they no longer need my gift, I won’t be giving it also.
Now on, don’t give me love when I don’t need love anymore. Don't give me time when I don't need your time anymore. For what good it will bring when I've had my time and learned to live my life again.
Give me Mr Chips when I need one or maybe curly tops when I want one. That would be the greatest gift I could consider. That would be your greatest gift, an act of love at the right time that I will truly appreciate.
Christmas is fast approaching again and again and I need to go home. I went home the other day and I bought a lighting beyblade toy for my favorite niece. I taught her how it works. She was able to do it the first time and twisted it much the second time and it broke.
She cried blaming herself that maybe she doesn't know how to play. And I being the spoiling uncle, told her that we'll just buy a new one. My father, being the fixing father-figure to her, got a glue to put it all back again. My brother, being the man of wisdom, explained that that's how toys are made. But I think none of us convinced. She found a paper pencil case and put the beyblade on the other end. She searched for a plastic tape and fixed it on the pencil case. A flashlight, she said, she'd be using during brownouts.
That's the gift in the eyes of a child. A greatest gift, a precious one, turned into a more useful tool. But in my eyes, just make me smile, I can afford the rest. And what makes me smile, just chips and chocolates filled with a heartfelt laughter that when rolled gives me goodnight sleep. That's all I need.
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